Member-only story
How to Fight a Woman
A rambling, ranting dispatch from the trenches
Whatever happened to that enchanting goddess worthy of your poems and love letters?
She was so much fun, so full of life!
You could talk to her about anything. She, who was beyond accommodating, guffawed at your lamest jokes and made you think you were an undiscovered stand-up act. With her, you felt your best. Like you actually have charm.
She who hung on your every word, where’s she at? That woman who promised to stand by your side, no matter what, who openly declared, ‘I’ll support you 200%, honey!’
Could it be that she was but a facade for the vile slob now sprawled across your matrimonial bed?
Because all you have left is this woman who could push your buttons like a kid in an arcade. She burns you up, and you have a nasty feeling she revels in it. Like she’s purposely scheduling her can’t-get-out-of-business meetings on the day you can’t attend the PTA. Like she’s giddily dumping extreme amounts of MSG on your food.
(And she always misses your personal items on the grocery list. What’s that about?!)
There are days when everything gets to you. Her tone. Her pointless investigations. Her lack of appreciation. Her negativity. Her terrible habit of. …
