NOT QUITE SATIRE
I Know My Rights!
The Bill of Rights, MAGA style
I saw a lowlife a few days ago on TV wearing a MAGA hat and a pair of handcuffs and howling, “I know my rights! I got bleepin’ rights!
Apparently, this nincompoop thought his bleepin’ rights extended to threatening people in the park that was in the background of the camera shot, snarling bad words at their children, and spitting and kicking at the cops arriving on the scene with the handcuffs. Apparently, he also thought that waving a gun around in a park — that gun now safely in a police car — was something he had a right to do.
“I know my rights” meant something when the first 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution, known as the Bill of Rights, were enacted in 1791. These amendments are what first gave the people of this country the right to have rights.
Of late, however, “I know my rights” seems to have been co-opted by a certain number of our citizens to mean Trump’s told me he’s my “retribution.” I’m gonna do some retributin’ myself. Trump’ll pardon me if you put me in jail, so don’t even try.
I’m going to try, anyway.
Here are your rights:
(What follows is written for the nincompoop in the park. The adults in the room may want to read the Bill of…
