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tNo to follow-for-follow on Medium | Listicle
I Probably Won’t Follow an Egghead
And other reasons I might not follow you, even if you follow me
The term “egghead” harkens back to the earlier days of Twitter when the default profile picture was an egg-shaped icon — accounts that didn’t replace the default icon were dubbed “eggheads.”
This is a listicle post. For those who may not be aware, a “listicle” is post enumerating items of possible interest. In other words, listicles are either numbered or bulleted lists.
We all want followers and to connect with fellow writers and other creatives. But, that doesn’t mean willy-nilly following every account on Medium. Neither should we follow back just anyone who follows us. Additionally, we are not obligated to jump on all those suggested follows Medium throws at you.
Someone paying for your dinner on a date never obligates you to anything more. Likewise, someone following you and engaging with your posts does not obligate you to follow back. Never let anyone make you feel like you owe them the presence of your connection just because they followed you.
We women have lived with some men’s expectation that we owe them our time and presence and connection if their eyes fall on us. Some of those men can become quite aggressive about it. Even nice guys may feel slighted if we don’t return their attention.
Women have been socialized in general to return a gesture of outreach in kind. It can be so ingrained that it may actually be uncomfortable for us not to do so. So, it is often difficult for us to hold our boundaries. In a world of threats where women would risk the threat from a bear over the threat from a man, it’s crucial for us to unlearn the socialization that we owe anyone connection on demand.
Still, I try to be considerate and will always try to reciprocate with those who engage with my posts. I appreciate engagement and am always grateful for your time and responses. But, please understand, that does not obligate me to an automatic follow of your own profile. Below are some basic parameters to which I adhere when deciding when to follow someone’s profile.
