I Ruined My Neighbor’s Memorial Service

And I don’t even feel bad about it

Photo by Caleb Woods on Unsplash

First things first, you should know that my neighbors are the absolute worst.

It is never silent here. Ever.

Apparently house parties are out and parking lot parties are in. At least 3–4 nights a week, there are parking lot shindigs that include loud music and result in a trail of beer bottles anywhere but the dumpster. When they get tired of the curb, sometimes they just sit on my car. 3–4 more times during the week, the parties take place during the day.

I have submitted 30 noise complaints in the last month. A couple weeks ago, we had a music war where I blasted screamo outside of my window to see who could withstand the obnoxious music longer — I won.

I’m kind of losing it.

A visual representation of me losing my mind, courtesy of my friend Kylie

The Memorial Service in Question

A couple of Saturdays ago, gospel music radiated through the entire fourplex. Not only could I hear it word for word, but the paintings on my wall were actually shaking.

After about 5 minutes, I stood up and stomped on the floor three times. I did…