Member-only story
Fake It Till Ya Make It
I Sneaked Into Trump’s Memecoin Dinner
And all I got was a crappy baseball cap and “collector’s card” made of cardboard
Author’s note: Obviously, I was not there. This is satire. This is reality-based fiction or fiction-based reality, whatever. However, if Trump’s spokes-model, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, can get away with saying it is “absurd for anyone to insinuate that this president is profiting off of the presidency,” then I can say I sneaked into the dinner! Hah!
Trump held a dinner at Trump National Golf Course for the top 220 buyers of the Trump memecoin, amusingly called $TRUMP, which makes me think “strump” which then makes me think “strumpet” (look it up, kinda makes sense, actually).
The average amount spent by these dinner guests on strumpet, errr I mean on $TRUMP, was $1.8 million. The top 25 investors would also get treated as “VIPs” at this dinner.
Well, I didn’t have a million dollars to spend, and even if I did, I certainly would not spend it on an inherently worthless fake “coin.” So I sneaked in with a disguise. I recalled that in the Monty Python film The Life of Brian, a woman could buy a fake beard to attend a stoning. Eureka!
