I’m Either Too Smart Or Too Stupid
I don’t trust anyone including myself.
Destroying my relationships is my superpower. I doubt anyone can beat me at it. Over the years, I have refined the art so well that I have very few relationships at the moment, excluding the one with myself. And they are all ticking time bombs.
When I was younger, one of my close friends at the time, Bidhaan, spoke these words loud enough so everyone around could hear it: They are all laughing at you behind your back.
I smiled: I don’t care. I only care that when they are with me, they are laughing with me.
I used to be happy then. The closest I’ve been to heaven.
When my father taught chess to my four-year-old-or-so self, he lost to me in the first game. And the next, even when I deliberately tried to lose to make him happy.
That gave me an idea. I’m smarter than my father. Even though I did not pursue chess further, I refrained from asking for his help with my studies. If I can’t figure it out, how can he? And I did pretty well for a while, without much help and without much effort.
I don’t remember when, but I started thinking: How could a child who’s still learning the rules of chess beat someone who’s played the game at least a few times? Was chess the game he was focusing on winning?
Well played!
I had been taking medication for bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia for over a decade until I stopped taking the prescribed medicines about 6–7 months ago.
My first girlfriend, who’s also an expert on psychology, said I was neither. It’s just a personality disorder, she said. I haven’t Googled the term yet, but I think that means I’m yet to have a personality.
One of my acquaintances thought I had ADHD. I thought that could be true. I do anything I can for attention.
One of my Twitter acquaintances I respect, suggested I may be autistic. Now that’s hard to accept.
According to my parents, I had epilepsy once when I was in Kindergarten. I don’t remember the experience.
At one point in time when I was a kid, I used to be so engaged in conversations with myself, that people thought I was deaf. My father took me to an ENT specialist.
If all/at least some of these people are right and sane, it’s insane that I’m sipping Vodka, smoking cigarettes, and typing these words now.
Is it okay to lie to gain love, respect, money, sex, fame or power?
I’m sure you’d agree on no.
Easy to preach, harder to put into practice.
I’d be honest with at least one person, so when you have conquered Mount Everest, it won’t feel like a lonely place.
Is it okay to lie if your only intention is to be kind and help/protect other/s?
“… kindness is not kind at all. It is fear wearing a mask. And if we are not telling the truth, we are embracing a lie.” — Ari Love, in this article.
The possibility that the other is lying is a waste of brain energy.
“Fake it till you make it.”
How smart do you need to be to fool yourself?
Here’s a joke I read in a philosophy book I can’t remember the name of:
Husband returns home from the office earlier than usual to find his wife in bed with another man.
As he stares at his wife shocked and speechless, his naked wife rushes to him:
“Before you say or do anything stupid, tell me: Do you trust your eyes more than me?”
Trust. It all begins and ends there.
“a lie that is repeated a thousand times becomes truth”
Truth changes with the clock.
Your truth might be different from mine. But with honest communication, we might get closer to facts.
It takes courage to be a hero. It takes more courage to admit you’re no hero.
It takes courage to make the first move.
