Is Realpolitik a Pro-Russian Clown Ideology of Reality Denial?
The curious case of geopolitical realists terrified of real life
The schools of realpolitik and realism have come far. In an attempt to flee the chains of morality, these ideologies have evolved into a marquee of bootlicking clowns who excel at reality denial more than Marxists after 1991.
Denial may not be the correct word. It feels like fear.
Today’s realpolitik is “realistic” in name alone and has jack shit to do with Rochau, Bismarck, or Machiavelli. Their unifying ideology is kissing Russia’s ass.
A political realist can look like a healthy person behind a tribune from a distance. But when it opens its mouth — there’s no escape. You will smell Russian HIV-infested d**kcheese even from the doorway.
The main criticism of modern realpolitik
If you subjected yourself to any interview from the famous realists, you will hear them call Russia one of “the great powers” that was “provoked” by the evil forces of Western Imperialism. Or something like that.
Here comes the first inconsistency. What exactly makes the “realists” believe that Russia is one of the world’s “great powers”? After the Moscow-controlled territory collapsed twice in the last decade, one of the very few things it excelled at seems to be mastering the art of sucking oil through a giant straw and peddling it. Is that really enough to be a superpower?
Hey, what is the smell?
Oh no, it looks like my words have summoned a link to that one video about how the West is at fault for Russia’s war in Ukraine!
Meet John Mearsheimer. He is a very busy boy. John had to visit every annual Moscow think-tank in Valdai while trying to sound impartial about Russia.
The Valdai boy is known for whitewashing Russia’s war in Ukraine since 2014, using the most vitriolic language possible to avoid saying that Russia actually illegally invaded and occupied Ukrainian territories.
Ladies and gentlemen, I believe Mearsheimer can represent the Overmind of realism in all its glory. There’s the entire arsenal of a pro-Russian fascist: the “Maidan coup,” the Poughkeepsie Tapes (oh, I mean Nuland), the NATO expansion.
So, the Valdatinite deliberately said that Russia isn’t going to invade Ukraine in 2022, saying that it would be stupid for Russia. The last time he denied the possibility was two days before the full-scale invasion. Then, Mearsheimer pirouetted to claim the invasion was actually “rational.” All of these intellectual titans forgot that Russia already did it 8 years prior.
When the Russian columns were burning near Kyiv and Kharkiv, the clown troupe started by claiming Ukraine would fall in days anyway. I don’t blame them — they were repeating what their masters say.
When that didn’t happen, it became “weeks,” then “months.” All the while, they’ve preached about how Ukraine should capitulate, ignoring or whitewashing every Russian mass war crime.
Yet, many parts of the media still treat these people as experts on the topic. But I don’t blame them. They are often hard-R on nearly all topics one inch outside of the United States.
The matrix of reality denialism
The denial in realpolitik circles is so resolute I think it can actually bend spoons.
Prime example: They unironically say that a former empire nation conquering another’s territory isn’t imperialistic. But it gets better.
This lot flat-out refuses to believe the actual words of Russia’s president and top officials when they talk about conquering the entirety of Ukraine or compare themselves to Russian emperors. Why? Because f*ck you, it’s all NATO’s fault!
These “realists” will insist that Russia aims to control neighboring regions to secure its gay-o-political interests.
You’ve got the Russian president, MPs, top officials, warlords, state-owned propagandists, and a hundred popular bloggers confirming Russia’s genocidal obsession with destroying Ukrainian identity and statehood.
Like, these aren’t open secrets.
Russian leadership publicly states that Ukrainians don’t exist as a nation and that Ukrainianism is a “mental disorder.” Ukrainians are likened to diseases, cockroaches, bedbugs, and — my personal favorite — worms inside a cat’s, you-know-what. Then, in the next sentence, they’ll complain about nazism because Ukraine forces public schools to teach children in Ukrainian. Oh boy.
It’s almost like we should believe Russia when they are conquering a sovereign state while saying they want to conquer a sovereign state for ideological reasons.
Russian officials don’t just hint but brag about their imperialistic ambitions. At international events, they proudly raise gigantic flagpoles of the Russian Empire and USSR alongside the Vlasovite flag (yes, Russia is using the flag of the largest soviet nazi collaboration unit). Half their army wears either z-swastikas or Russian empire symbols.
They destroy Ukrainian monuments, bombard book factories, cancel Ukrainian culture, and conduct Russification policies on occupied territories. Russians even made the annexation of Crimea and the other 4 regions into national holidays. Nothing says “we’re not imperialists” like celebrating your conquests, right?
Failure to overlook the publicly stated and confirmed genocidal and imperial intent actually makes you a machine for clown juice.
It takes either a room-temperature IQ or a Russophilia to keep talking about NATO as a cause of the war. Speaking of which…
I don’t really want to talk about it, but WHAT ABOUT NATO?
The whole “NATO enlargement” argument can be destroyed in less than 5 minutes. I’ll even use a listicle because it doesn’t deserve better.
- NATO never had any written bilateral agreements with Russia that would prevent them from accepting sovereign states.
- Russia never had any written agreements with the sovereign state of Ukraine not to join NATO. It did convince Ukraine to surrender its nuclear arsenal and a bunch of non-nuclear assets (Budapest Memorandum).
- Gorbachev, the USSR leader who was allegedly told that NATO “wouldn’t enlarge,” publicly confirmed that no agreement between NATO and USSR or Russia ever existed. He is captured on camera saying that the “Expanding East” quote was about East Germany. He exhibited more intellect than “realists”! Shocking, I know.
- Putin didn’t see threats to Ukraine’s potential membership in NATO before. That’s right. During the 2002 Rome summit, Putin clearly stated that Ukraine is a sovereign state with the right to choose its own way of ensuring its security, including membership in NATO.
- NATO doesn’t “expand” — it literally accepts countries if all other active NATO members accept them. Countries like Poland had to resort to blackmail to get inside.
- The joining procedure alone was able to prevent Ukraine from joining NATO due to current states being puppeteered by Russia. I’m talking about Hungary, of course. But Ukraine wasn’t and still isn’t even in the talk about starting to join NATO.
- NATO members Estonia and Latvia, who are also post-soviet, share a 338-kilometer (210-mile) border with mainland Russia since 2004. They never posed any tangible threat to Russia that would necessitate military action. Funny how Russia didn’t feel any danger from them.
- Finland joined NATO in 2022 after Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine, widening the NATO-Russia border to 1,954 km (1,214 ml). Putin publicly said he has no problem with Finland in NATO. Consistency, huh.
- The Ukraine-Russia border is about 2,000 km, less than the total NATO-Russia border. But actual NATO states are less of a threat than Ukraine, for some reason.
- During the war, Russia pulled troops from NATO borders to fight in Ukraine — a country not even close to joining NATO. If NATO was the real threat, you’d think they’d beef up those borders.
- Russia kicked off the war with Ukraine in 2014, first by invading and annexing Crimea, then by invading and maintaining the war in Donetsk and Luhansk. Ukraine’s aspirations to join the NATO defensive alliance accelerated because Russia invaded and occupied its territories.
What REALLY breaks the whole argument apart is that Ukraine is a sovereign state that “has the right to choose its own way of ensuring its own security,” and I’m quoting 2002’s Putin here.
But what was Russia supposed to do?
If Russia had wanted Ukraine not to seek the forsaken NATO alliance, here are some of the things it could have tried.
- Not invade and occupy territories of Ukraine in 2014. Novel concept, I know.
- Try diplomatically with Ukraine, trying to negotiate terms where they would not join NATO.
- Negotiate with NATO not to use the territories of bordering countries for the placement of nuclear weapons.
- As a last resort, give Ukraine an ultimatum with a conditional declaration of war following the Hague Convention relative to the Opening of Hostilities. You know, before invading.
But that would require Russia to follow rules, laws, and common sense. We can’t force a “great power” to do that, can we?
For a realpolitik adept at considering Ukraine or other Eastern European countries to be sovereign states with agency? How dare you ask so much from entities bred with milk mixed with Russian smegma at the annual Valdai joints?
That, of course, is still a clown show if you consider modern Russia to be a “superpower.”
Talking about the “Russian sphere of influence”
Realist’s definition of “great nations” is unclear, especially regarding russia. Like, what exactly constitutes it as a “great nation”? To answer that question, let’s talk about practical reality, just like realpolitik aficionados should do.
You. Yes, you! What Russian product do you use daily? I believe that you don’t even know a single popular, mass-produced product from Russia. Cars, smartphones, grills, blenders, air conditioners, cameras, smart TVs?
I’ll help you out. You might know about the Russian messenger app — Telegram. But it’s from an entrepreneur who had to flee russia and sell his social network due to government pressure. Ouch.
Economically, Russia is behind the state of Texas. I know it gets thrown down a lot, but it’s true. A whole location, supposedly a “superpower,” can’t outperform a single US state.
To fool people who can’t tell their ass from their elbow economically, Russia invented its own ranking system and claimed to “surpass Germany and Japan.” In the real world, Russia’s official (and I stress — “official”) inflation hit 9.1%, and its currency has declined by about 25% despite being on active life support. The central bank interest rate is currently at 18%. Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good.
Russia doesn’t have the human resources of the US or Europe. Hell, they have only 140 million human units and a demographical crisis.
Russians barely have any culture, just a semblance of one. They tried and failed to establish an “alternative” to Hollywood after decades of attempts. Their movies are f*cking awful. It’s all poorly produced blockbusters (remember that word?), copy-paste, remakes, and barely comprehensible indie schizophrenia. The most famous post-Soviet Russian movies are the ethno-nationalist racist “gangster” dilogy and a film about two imprisoned soldiers persuading each other to eat shit.
Their music industry is in an even more horrid state. Scatophilia is metaphorical here: shot-for-shot copies of Western clips, extra-chromosome level lyrics, and degenerate Russian rap about prison life and cocks.
You can count successful popular Russian video games on one hand, and then realize half of them are Ukrainian or Polish. Oops.
The only pretense of “culture” comes in the form of ballet compositions and a few books from 200 years ago about degenerate robbers who kill ladies for money, graphomania snoozefests about Napoleon wars, or literal odes to pedophilia. Newsflash: nobody in Russia forces themselves to read this shit in its entirety. They just relish the fact that Western Russophiles take this drivel seriously as they buy a ticket for Deadpool vs Wolverine (unlicensed showings or pirated streams).
The military might…
Military-wise, Russia is a f*ck-up.
They fucked up their 2022 blitz to Kyiv after publicly declaring that the Ukrainian army was depleted on the second day of the full-scale war, which they conveniently named “smo.” They had to flee the entirety of Kharkiv oblast in a few weeks and had to start the mass mobilization, which they conveniently named “partial.” They had to abandon Kherson (the only regional center they’ve taken since 2022), which they now pretend never existed at all.
Russians are now coping with the fact that Ukraine has counter-invaded and special military-operated part of their own country.
What remains Russia’s only strength is its nuclear arsenal. No, not quite right. I meant Russia’s talks about its nuclear arsenal. Why the distinction?
From 2022 to this day, Russia consistently shows that its military technology is overproduced and underperforming junk that’s getting annihilated by limited quantities of older Cold War-era Western equipment. From the guided missile cruiser Moskva turned submarine to regularly destroyed un-spottable Kinzhal missiles, or the T-14 Armata tank, which couldn’t even manage to drive during a Moscow military parade, let alone arrive at the Ukrainian front.
You don’t have to be a senior data scientist to see a pattern: Russians lie about the quality and quantity of their military technology.
Russia’s vaunted “nuclear arsenal” is likely the same. They don’t have nearly as many nukes as they claim. Their hypersonic technology works great only in CGI clips and PowerPoint. And maintaining those nukes… Well, if they can’t keep a flagship functional enough to shoot down missiles, I wouldn’t bet on their nuclear upkeep.
In simple words, just like everything else Russia does except for shoddy propaganda for the room-temperature IQ Dostoyevsky enjoyers, their nuclear potential is low.
Realistic radio silence on Ukraine’s war in Russia
Now, for the homo***ual turtle tank in the room.
Ukraine has been land-grabbing parts of the Kursk region for over a week. Russia responded with cricket noises. They don’t even know how to f*cking report it to their audiences.
All those realpolitik adepts who were fearmongering about nuclear war if russia gets directly attacked? Complete radio silence.
These keyboard warriors shitposted daily about Ukraine losing a square kilometer a month. But when Ukraine blew up the Crimean Bridge twice, castrated the Black Sea Fleet, and even directly hit the Kremlin — there was no reaction from the realists. Not a whisper about Ukraine controlling several hundred square kilometers of Kursk.
The cold, hard realism
These Russophiles and pro-Russian fascists masquerading as pragmatists have been in full damage control mode for nearly three years. They lack the balls, guts, or basic decency to admit they’ve been wrong.
Decades of fearmongering and taking Russia seriously? All for naught. Just like Russia can’t dispose of a syphilitic mummy in a mausoleum for half a decade, realists can’t man themselves up to take the loss and reevaluate their stance on the smell of the decaying empire. From where I stand, it smells like shit.
A realpolitik expert is now less respected than a fluffer in pornography. Google it up. The resemblance is uncanny.
