Is Tradition the New Rebellion?
These days, it’s a lot easier to find a date, or even just someone to text sweet nothings to. Just as social media had once made it possible to have thousands of friends you’ve never met in person, dating apps have made sure every lonely heart out there has at least a shot at love — or something that could pass as the real thing for a time.
But these connections have a tendency to be broken as easily as they’re formed. Some never get past the messaging stage. Others stagnate after in-person meetings because their online chemistry couldn’t be replicated offline.
Is dating now the ultimate relationship goal?
Certain statistics reveal that 42% of dating site users aim for marriage. This suggests that though the ways in which most people meet their partners have changed, ultimate goals have remained the same.
Tradition lives on.
By tradition, we mean finding someone to be in a relationship with, committing to that relationship, and eventually getting married. Tradition means a relationship that lasts for a lifetime, maybe even enriched by children.
This makes good sense. People by nature are social. Our need for love and belonging is so essential that it’s classified as Level 3 in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Basic Needs. People who don’t have these needs met may suffer from loneliness and depression.
Sadly, out of the 42% of dating site users who seek marriage, only 13% are reported to have gotten engaged or married.
But what were the factors that saw those 13% succeed in the first place?
According to recent trends, there are a few: intent, compatibility, and commitment.
Intent.
Tradition dictates that if you’re ready to meet someone to settle down with, the intent has to be clear. It’s not just about meeting, dating, and seeing what happens next. There has to be a clear and mutual goal of tying the knot someday, and each step taken in the relationship has to be in service to that goal.
Nowadays, people are likely to distinguish dating apps based on user intent. Users want to know that the people they’re matching with share their intentions, especially those who are willing to emotionally invest.
Tinder, for instance, is known as the go-to app for people looking for something casual. Bumble, which is newer than Tinder, is already earning a reputation as the app for people who are intentionally looking for real connections.
But whereas real relationships are nice goals, they don’t necessarily mean marriage. If you’re looking to settle down, you should look for dating sites or services where you’re assured that the users are marriage-minded.
Compatibility.
Relationships work if there’s a respectful give-and-take between the couple. This means that their needs and values must be aligned so that they’re able to take care of each other without losing their sense of self.
Traditionally, this is the husband-and-wife arrangement, wherein the man is the provider and the wife is the homemaker. This may seem hopelessly outdated, but surprisingly, it remains relevant.
Many women take pride in managing the home, raising children, and taking care of their husbands. In return, they want their husbands to be responsible, loving, and faithful.
Despite stereotypes of men just looking for casual hookups, there are many men who would be willing to devote themselves to one woman, giving her and their children the family life they deserve.
Contrary to popular opinion, this traditional marriage arrangement actually serves the couple’s needs. For most women, it fulfills their need to love and nurture, while many men feel that providing and protecting their families are some of the noblest purposes they could have in life.
If you find yourself on a dating site, it’s important that you’re honest about what you’re looking for in a partner, and that you don’t give up if you can’t find those traits in anyone within your locality. It’s a big world out there.
Isn’t it worth expanding your sights beyond your city, even your country, to find that one person whose dream life matches yours?
Commitment.
It’s a fact that relationships take constant work. That’s why it’s important for two people to really commit to getting to know each other right from the start.
Traditionally, it wasn’t any easier to be committed to a relationship than it is today. Other responsibilities and priorities still got in the way then.
But the couples who made it down the aisle and are still going strong were the same ones who made spending time together a priority. They were the ones who grabbed every opportunity to talk to each other.
Similarly, couples who ended up married after dating online credit their union to commitment. It’s important then that the dating site or service you use provides you with the resources to communicate and see each other, even through video calls.
If your commitment to finding the one transcends physical distance, then it’s best to find a dating service that’s as committed as you are. Excellent dating services would help you travel and meet the partner of your dreams, and prioritize your safety and comfort while doing so.
Tradition describes cultures and practices that have stood the test of time. That’s no mean feat, as change is constant. For something to last, it must be even more necessary than any change that takes place.
The fact that marriage still remains a tradition and a desired goal for many people is a testament to its power as an institution. It still fulfills some of our deepest needs to connect and to bond for a lifetime.
Nowadays, more people expect their relationships to fail after the first few dates. Ghosting, catfishing, and romance scams are common plights suffered by those seeking love. There are those who succeed in forging long-lasting relationships, only to have those be as good as it gets.
Couples who get and stay married are rare. It’s little wonder, then, that in a world where loneliness is the norm, the tradition of marriage is looking more and more like an act of rebellion.
