Jesus, y’all!
My Brief (Yet Hilarious) LGBTQ-Centered Encounter With a Catholic Preist
I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried
Ok, I suppose I should clarify — I’ve been Catholic my whole life. I’ve heard many a priest talk openly about the LGBTQIA+ community, some of it good, most of it bad.
Over time, I started not caring about their opinion, which was pretty difficult considering the amount of emphasis my years of Catholic education put on always caring about what those “holy men” say.
Not much later, I discovered I was queer. Like, really queer. Girlfriend? Obtained. Gender? Fluid as ever.
Any and all expression of this? Suppressed until I got to my amazingly liberal yet also Catholic high school.
My friends finally understood my experience and were as supportive as ever! My family was supportive, too. And they still are!
Yeah, things were going pretty great at this new school. There was less emphasis on Church and more on being your own person!
However, it was still a Catholic school with Catholic traditions. This wasn’t a bad thing — it just felt like a small step out of what was now the ordinary.
During Lent, they had a bunch of priests come over so we could confess our sins and all that. They seemed like good guys, but it’s still hard to tell someone’s opinions and beliefs at first sight.
That’s when I got an idea. An idea that all my friends agreed with. An idea that would change my perception of priests for quite a while.
Seeing as I was the only Catholic in my friend group, and thus the only one completely comfortable with going into a confessional to do the whole “retelling of sins” thing, I was the one to carry out the plan.
So, I did just that. I went into the confessional and did the forgiveness thing. I always feel like such a bad person when I do that; I mean, it’s literally just you sitting there, listing bad things you've done! I started crying, actually. Not very fun.
After the priest told me I could go and do penance (still not completely sure what that’s helpful for), I told him that I had a question.
Tear-stained and in a fragile mood, I was afraid of what he would say. But, I trusted this school to invite only the (actually) good-est priests.
So I asked him his thoughts on the LGBTQ+ community. And…
It actually went well! He said he agreed with gay rights, love is love, who it is shouldn’t matter, all that good stuff!
I was very relieved, and honestly, a little underwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, I thought it was great he was an ally, but this wasn’t much of an interesting story to tell.
Then, as I was about to leave, he stopped me. And said the most “what the fuck” thing I think I’ve ever heard.
“I do support gay rights and all that…but I don’t agree with the gay agenda. That’s not a straight thing — I even have transgender friends that agree with me! Everything else is fine, but I don’t trust that gay agenda…”
…HELLO?!
WHAT THE HELL IS THE GAY AGENDA? I JUST- WHAT THE FUCK?
I was far too taken aback to think of asking him what the gay agenda even was, so I made direct eye content with him during his whole shpiel on why he supports gays but not the gay agenda. Also his unconscious interchangeable vocabulary of gender and sexuality.
I started crying again, this time, from laughter. In an awkward move, I said, “Ok, cool. Thanks? Bye.” bolted into the hallway (still crying) and found my friends.
At first, they were really worried. I don't blame them; I must’ve looked like a mess. However, after I told them about what just happened, we all fell into a laughing heap on the ground.
I’ve seen priests criticize people over things they can’t control, and I’ve seen priests that would honestly be great leaders at the forefront of the LGBTQ+ movement.
But I have never heard a priest (or anyone else) bring up the gay agenda. Fuck, I’ve only ever heard jokes about the gay agenda!
Should I have asked more questions and dived deeper into his strange opinion? Probably. I definitely would have a lot more to add to the story!
However, I just couldn’t think over the sound of his…whatever it was. Stupidity? Ignorance? I don’t know.
I was rendered speechless! Literally, WHO BELIEVES IN THE GAY AGENDA!?
Do people really think the LGBTQ+ community is centered on taking over the world, or whatever? What, are trying to “expel of the straights”? Not only would that be extremely hypocritical, but it would also just be mean!
I can assure you, there is no gay agenda. There is no ulterior motive to wanting fair rights. (I really hope this was not new information to anyone reading).
Where do people even get ideas like that? Honestly, ever since then, I’ve been incredibly interested in beliefs about the LGBTQ+ community. Maybe I should go to Mass and confession more often…
Welp, that’s that for today, folks. Let me know if you want more Catholic school stories — I have mental libraries of them!
Thank you for reading, and have a good day :)
