Playdate Debate: Cringing at Other Parent’s Choices
As an anxious control freak, it can be hard to sit idly by and watch other people’s parenting.
I know I’m risking sounding like a total narcissist, but my husband and I have quite a few conversations that include, “Oh my God, they’re doing WHAT? On purpose!?”
I’ll admit we love to judge from afar, and considering some of the topics we are judging, I don’t feel bad for having these conversations in private with him. Especially when the choices are easy ones, according to us bitchy bitches *nails emoji*.
You would be shocked at some of the dirt I’m holding in, this isn’t the time or the place to rip on anyone in particular but that doesn’t mean I don’t crave a good roast! C’mon, it’s Christmastime, arent we supposed to have a roast?? I’ll control myself.
Yes, I look at people differently if I think they’ve made a questionable choice for their kids, you bet I do.
Topics like
- Vaccinate/Not Vaccinate
- Homeschool/Unschool/Traditional School
- Spanking/No Spanking
- Co-sleeping/Bassinet
- Guns in House/No Guns in House (Yes, this topic is a hot one where I’ve been born and raised.)
They come up very often in parenting. I have chosen a clear side of each of these (which I will not be sharing in this article, sorry to disappoint!) and I think harshly toward people who choose differently than me, sorry.
And we all do, it’s natural. We all theoretically get to pick whether we want Multiple/Single Children, right? After making the choice ourselves do we not believe that our choice was the correct one, and so believe that a different choice is the wrong one?
The beauty of life is that it’s extremely diverse. If we have parenting styles going in all directions it will make a well-rounded community. Or at least that’s what I would say if I was extremely emotionally mature. The truth is I hate how we’ve all been dividing and I can’t understand why some people would [fill in the blank] their kids.
A part of having kids that I find myself grappling with is having close relationships with people who parent very differently from us. Especially after 2020–2023: Covid-19, BLM Movement, Impeachments, Capitol attacks, mass shootings, school shootings, it adds up. I’ve become more judgemental because I’ve become more strongly opinionated with the choices I make for my kids.
Can I have a friendship with someone who made the opposite choice I did?
Of course, and I won’t be naming names but I have many friends that chose to do the opposite of what I did in some circumstances. I judge you, yes, but I wouldn’t make a big fuss unless it directly affects my children. If I cut everyone out of my life that makes different choices to me I would live a lonely existence.
I write this after having a conversation with a family member about hitting dogs during training, believe it or not, I would not hit a dog. You can surmise from where you’re seeing this, i.e. a blog post on Medium.com that I am already someone who leans toward more educated choices. Take that however you would like, I’m in a fighting mood. I was inspired to explore the topic of discipline, teaching, and safety with someone who was hitting a dog, as I believe that this is the wrong choice. Emotional maturity was the main topic of discussion, as I believe someone who hits dogs is unempathetic and, well, scumbag material.
One needs to be emotionally mature to have successful relationships with people who parent differently than them, and it can be draining when those you’re related to think differently from you.
The same goes for friends and your community, you can’t control other people so let them make their choices and watch the natural consequences unfold to your satisfaction like I do. Keep your opinion to yourself unless your friend is open to debate, no good comes from Unsolicited Advice–the other most annoying thing about parenting. Good luck, and stand your ground!
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-LaChelle
