Rating Disney Princesses: From Dumb to Dumbest
This is going to be hard. While some princesses are absolutely brilliant, most are just…well, dumb.
I love Disney! I grew up watching their movies and they are, for the most part, absolutely marvelous. Until they’re not.
Disney princesses, or many of them at least, make horrible role models. I recently started watching a YouTube series where a therapist diagnoses all the issues Disney princesses have, and let me tell you, for a kids’ show, it’s not pretty.
So, let’s take a look at the ranking of the top 3, dumbest Disney princesses.
3. Ariel
I used to love The Little Mermaid. That is, of course, until I realized that she left her entire life, including family and friends, for the promise of a potential love interest.
If I packed my bags and followed every handsome man I spotted on the streets, I’d be all the way across the world right now! Why would she do that? It’s similar to me falling in love with a martian, and leaving planet Earth for him! Let’s not even talk about the way she actually fell for him.
Also, Ursula? Seriously? That witch reeked of evil! I mean, she basically admitted to her ulterior motives. What did our beloved princess do? SIGN A CONTRACT! I tried, and failed miserably, to find one single good thing about this tale.
2. Cinderella
“Oh, look at me, my stepmother and sisters torture me, but I’ll sing and dance with birds and pretend all is well because I am dumb Cinderella.” WHY would you create a character with absolutely no spine! Cinderella basically woke up every day, took the pain bestowed on her with a smile, and danced and giggled, all because she was waiting for “true love”.
Now, how do I tell her that love shouldn’t be painful? I often think that they had to make her that way for the sake of the story, but that story is nonsense. She ends up getting her charming prince because she endured the pain. I would have loved to see her stand up for herself at least once rather than sob in her tiny room!
As a result, this makes it seem as though pain is a road to happiness. Also, how do you fall in love overnight? And how the hell does your only true love remember nothing about you? Not your face, not your voice, nothing!
And can someone please tell me why is the fairy godmother giving deadlines? Why would she give Cinderella a curfew in the first, and probably only night she’d be out?
One more thing bugging me with this movie. Why did the king (or whoever that was) say during the ball “there must be at least one who’ll make a suitable mother” before correcting himself to say “wife”?
1. Snow White
The original princess is not that brilliant. That she won this competition should not come as a surprise to anyone. She is everything our parents warned us about: don’t eat food from strangers, don’t go out with strangers, do not, under any conditions, live with strangers.
I thought the way other princesses fell in love was stupid? Snow White makes them look like geniuses. The woman fell in love with a guy singing out her window!
In all honesty, words fail me to describe how repelled I am by the level of thickness in this story, and if the GIF above is not proof enough, I don’t know what is.
I understand that Snow White was basically Disney’s first experiment with the Grimm Brothers which means she sort of got the short end of the stick. But I am simply defending her here. She is, for all intents and purposes, dumb. There’s something unique about her dumbness, even. I can’t point it but it’s there, this aura that makes her absolutely brainless.
YUHU! We’ve got ourselves a winner. Congratulations, Snow White for being one of the most foolish Disney princesses. It was a tough competition but you won, fair and square. Felicitations!
