FAITHINESS
Religion for Dummies: Explaining Christianity in 700 Words Or Less
If it made sense, you wouldn’t need faith
In the Beginning…
A Supreme Being we’ll call “God” invents an animal species we’ll call “humans” and sets them up in a garden paradise. What a guy!
Unfortunately, He also decides to pull history’s first and most epic dick move — there’s an apple He created them to want but won’t let them eat, and for some reason a random snake slithers in to chat up the female about fruit salad recipes.
The virtuous male resists, but she talks him into it, and BANG! They’re kicked out and condemned to a life of pain and suffering.
Particularly her.
You like apples? Here’s to bleeding every month and dying in childbirth. How ‘bout them apples?
With Eternal Love,
GodP.S. Enjoy the patriarchy!
To summarize, an all-powerful, all-knowing deity set up a situation He knew from the jump would fail but got mad anyway.
This would become a pattern.
A few thousand years later, He was pissed off with his creations for assorted corruption and mayhem — though to be fair, He commanded some…
