So I’ve Heard: Things People Told Me That Weren’t True
I hope I am not the only one who was treated like a naive minion and was therefore fed a bunch of bull-banana as she grew up.
Okay so, creepy minion aside, I have reached the conclusion that many people find pleasure in telling kids a bunch of nonsense disguised as wisdom. As a matter of fact, some simply relish throwing their weight around and projecting past traumas on anyone in their vicinity. Toxic much?
As a consequence, I have grown up listening to baseless opinions from other people. And, as any minion would, I adopted many of them. Basically, my opinions were anything but mine. For the most part, I was the sum of wrong ideologies, faulty arguments, and flawed reasoning. Yet, I looked at them like:
I used to judge girls in revealing clothes because my dad said wearing mini-skirts makes girls look unworthy of respect. I used to not wear makeup -not even a colorless lip gloss - because my neighbor decided makeup was not for young girls (or anyone, for that matter).
I used to refuse to let people call me by my nickname because a friend of my father’s told me I was a good girl when I told him to call me by my full name (truth is, that was just the first answer I had when he asked if I preferred to be called Meryem or Merry). Somehow, my answer was enough for him to decide I was a good girl and for my father to be proud of me. Thinking about it now, that was messed up on so many levels.
I think you got the idea. Fortunately for me, and unfortunately for everyone around me who is still rooted in their old ways, I grew some brain. Yep, we, minions, are capable of that. And so I realized, statically speaking, that 8 out of 10 things I’ve been told are wrong. This translates into 90% of pure bullshit. Disclaimer: the math may be incorrect though the idea certainly isn’t.
So, other than eating manners and life skills that fall under the rest 10% category, here are five things that I’ve heard and I deem utterly idiotic today (thankfully):
1- A girl is only as respected as her concealing clothes
I feel the need to get this out of the way first. How you narrow down an entire human being, with their good and bad experiences, their memories, and their personalities into the fabric on their backs beats me!
This argument was made before, yelled from rooftops I might add: girls and boys should be allowed to wear whatever they wish to wear. Whether I choose to wear a mini-skirt or baggy clothes says nothing about my value. I used to come across those pictures where they compare two candy sticks, one covered and the other not, and show how the uncovered one has insects all over it, hence its low value. I mean, I appreciate being called sweet, but c’mon! To hide my body or to flash it should be my decision and no one has the right to rob that.
2- Marriage and kids are an absolute necessity
Life is incomplete without a family of one’s own, right? Wrong.
I feel like I’ll be making the choice polemic a lot here, but truthfully, it all comes down to it. Having a family seems great to some, but doesn’t sound so appealing to others. I feel wronged every time someone wishes me a bright future with a husband and good offspring as if my future is only as bright as my potential family.
3- Don’t talk back to elders
But, but, but, what if they are spitting bullsh- banana?
I had a teacher in high school who told me women shouldn’t become engineers. If you think that just because he has a bushy beard and 20 years over me that’ll shut me up, you’ve got another thing coming your way. I gave this man an earful and never felt an iota of guilt. For years before that, I used to simply close my mouth (80% of the time, I mean I still had some spine). Now that, I regret.
4- Sex is something to be ashamed of
Believe me, I can write a whole saga about this one.
Sex being erroneous is only the umbrella under which hid an outrageous amount of horrendous ideas. I was told that sex inevitably leads to pregnancy. To this very day, I still wait for someone to tell me about contraception or any form of protection. Come to think of it, no one ever told me anything about sex other than it being a sin. I’ll let that sink in.
5- Failure is forbidden
No pressure, though.
My entire life I had parents, relatives, and professors watching over my shoulder. If I fall, there was no safety net to break down the fall. If I fail, I’ll never stand up again. At least, so I’ve heard. I’d say I’m an overachiever today with minimum life experiences because I was not allowed to fail. Failing, I have luckily learned, is a gift not a curse.
Today, I revel in rocking short red dresses and baggy hoodies, heavy mascara sometimes, not a drop of makeup others. I am not a minion, and my friends can call me whatever they want as long as it’s respectful. I am an engineering student with a bright future in her career, and who would consider marriage if I fall madly in love. Until then, sex before marriage is not an unforgivable sin, and failure is something I look forward to for all the lessons it’ll teach me.
I am grateful I am no longer a minion shoving banana after banana down my throat. Rather, I have grown to think about things rationally yet not take myself too seriously. We all die at the end, you know.
