Sometimes, Experience Is Not Wisdom
It’s just a mask to get away with things…
One day…
I came back from work one day in a zombie look. I was super confused and needed to loosen up.
So, I called my friend and asked her about her day.
She had a pretty good one. (Plus, considering how wise she is, she should always have good days ❤).
After a few minutes, she asked me, ‘Anyway, you tell me how was your day?’
I said, ‘I don’t know. I am confused.’
She was quiet and it was obvious that she was waiting for me to explain.
I said, ‘My manager, who is also my mentor, asked to fire Hazel, who is my subordinate and also my good friend, tomorrow. Because of budget issues. She is super nice and helpful. And does all the work nicely. How can I do that?’
‘Oh! But are there any budget issues?’, she asked.
‘NO!’, I screamed.
‘Then what is the real reason?’
‘He wants her salary as a part of the profit to show on the balance sheet for some investors. But what would one person’s salary even do? It’s so funny and infuriating at the same time!
‘God! Capitalism will be the death of our mental peace!’, she said, rightly.
She continued, ‘Now what? Will you do it?’
‘I have to!’, I exclaimed. ‘He is my mentor. He guides me. He gives me tips and tricks of the industry. He has so much experience. Plus, he is super rich. If I follow him, I might one day become like him. I know it might sound like a joke to you now but there is a small possibility, isn’t there?’
I continued, ‘I don’t want to fire my friend. But isn’t that part of my job? I have to do what my manager tells me to do. Is this not what I get paid for?’
The wise owl
She thought for a moment and said, ‘Umm… yeah. But tell me one thing… If your manager was not your manager, would you still follow all his bits of advice and itty bitty footsteps?
‘What are you saying? I don’t have an option! And itty bitty? HAHAHA! Where are you going with this?’, I asked.
‘But if you had an option, then what? Would you have trusted this person for advice regarding your life if this person did not have the experience, money, or connections in the industry?
And if the answer is no, then you know, you know?’
‘Hmm, probably not. Although he guides me and I am grateful for that, not all his suggestions are rational. And frankly, I think he lacks empathy. Yes, he is intelligent and experienced. But sometimes, he can come off as rude.’
‘He is intelligent and experienced?’, she asked.
‘Yeah!’
‘Is he intelligent or experienced?’
‘I don’t get you.’
‘They are not always mutually exclusive, you know? An experienced and rich person can do illegal things but an intelligent and kind person would choose not to. Right? Coz they are not stupid. Duh!
Plus, after what you’ve told me about him, I’m pretty sure his advice is also not up to the mark. So, yes you have to fire her but do it on your terms. Not his.
And what if this boss of yours fires you one day if he wants more profit? And you want to follow ‘his’ footsteps? Why? What if you have the ability to surpass his experience and money? Who knows? Why is he ‘the standard’? My God.’
‘Yes. My God! My God, you are wise.’
‘Yes, I know. But make sure my wisdom is also not a standard for you. Be wiser without standards and comparison. Surpass your expectations.’
‘If I were gay or a boy, I’d marry you, you know?’
‘Yes, ‘I do’.’
‘Good, you should.’
The next day…
I did not fire her and got a scolding from my manager.
He said and I quote, ‘You do not decide what goes around here and what does not. I have to decide that. I am the BOSS. You are not. Stay within your limits. I do not know how these girls can survive in corporate! If you cannot do whatever I say, I’ll do things myself. There is no need for you to come too. Go shopping or wherever you girls go!’
(Oh that apple-hole!)
I said, ‘Okay sir. I am sorry. I will do as you say and will fire her tomorrow.’
He said, ‘See! Was that so difficult?’
(Yes, it was. You apple-hole!)
The next day I told my friend that she had been fired with the real reason, not the budget reason. But I also gave her a job and a few contact numbers and email addresses of my friends and relatives who can help her get a job even before her notice period ends.
She was sad that day. She cried. But she was happy when she left. With a better job offer in her hand. She thanked me, and I wish her good luck.
After two months, I resigned too.
Coz why should I suffer alone?
What we learn…
One: If you have OG friends, you are gold.
Second: Don’t limit yourself to reach where other people have reached. The road is long. Keep exploring.
And third: We should not let our biases come in between our judgments. Somebody can be rich and powerful and have 20 years of experience but seeming credible and being credible are two different things.
Yes, having experience, merit and the backing of money is good. But wisdom (intelligence) and kindness do not go hand in hand with them. We must recognize the differences and actuality of things.
The point is that some people can wear pretty masks pretty well but for how long? The face underneath will be revealed someday (no matter if the reveal is grand or slow) and it might not be as polite, feminist, helpful, and wise as the mask was.
Don’t let those apple holes hinder your ability to reach your own (unknown) potential.
Until Next Time,
Toodles!
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