STRIPPER REVOLUTION#1: FROM DA POLES TO DA POLLS
Published in
4 min readJan 21, 2023
A serialized blaxoploitation novel series bout a STRIPPER turned POLITCIAN
-1-
Her name is REVOLUTION.
Da ones who know her best call her REV for shawt.
Her birth wasnt televised butt hellishized by her Mama in an abandoned house where she was born.
Her Mama had been a street activist wit a basic understanding of da black struggle in Amerikkka B4 she fell off into addiction n brought REVOLUTION into dis world by herself.
Guess she figgered da name was da one last redeeming thang she could do 4 da girl.
Cuz Da Struggle is real in deez streets tryna git over n round shit.
Hell — da struggle was in tryna survive n stay alive.
Periodt.
***********************
REV had been running away frum one FOSTER HOME after anutha due to dat molestation lifestyle she whudden fond of.
She found it better to be on da streets den caught up in da sheets wit sum lecherous white, black or asian muthafuckaz.
Da last one threw her fo a loop.
She aint know Asians even got down like dat!!
TV had her convinced dat THEY were so HONORABLE wit all dat BOWING, SCRAPING & OM PADME OM shit.
So she was totally fucked up dat da Asian family dat hosted her as their child was sum stone cold FREAKS.
Nowdays she realized dat if an Asian Man bowed U had betta check n see if he had just STOLEN da shoes off yo Feet.
So its no wonder dat one day REV KARATE-CHOPPPED dat Muhfucka n ran out da house in her bra n panties.
She never went back.
Running away was always her answer to shit she aint like.
Cuz at least dat way she knew it was gone forever.
************************
Well at least Running USETA be her response.
Now she was apt to KILL a Foo 4 fuckin wit her Ass.
And REV discovered her ASS was gone always be THE problem.
Its SIZE and GIRTH was RIDICULOUS.
And da older she got into Womanhood da LARGER n mo SHAPELY her ass Got.
MEN — n even WOMMIN could not keep their Hands OFF da Muthafucka!!
Dis why STRIPPING only made sense to her.
REV tried HOEING butt found it aint good for a girl to have a lotta DICKS in her life.
She also tried bein a CON ARTIST.
Da MONEY was too slow tho.
Plus it took too long to set Niggaz up.
STRIPPING on da other hand was show n def not slow bizness.
Yeah — it was one step up frum PORNO.
Butt da beauty & da booty of it was u jes showed up n U Showed Out.
Got Yo MONEY n went Home.
Nobody got HURT.
Just BROKE.
Cuz da GAME dont stop fo NO muthafucka.
*****************************
Da ASS REV POSSESSED was designed to DISPOSSESS a Nigga of his LOOT.
She felt no ways bout dat.
Da way She had it figgered: God whudden have BLESSED her wit da ASSET if he aint mean fo her to use it to make her way in da Werld.
Da Money had been good fo 10 Years n she was still alive n only 25.
Ever since she lied to git into da Game.
Muthafuckaz had saw dat CASH-MAKING ASS n basikally let her PASS.
She simply Pimped dat Ass to stack her paper.
PIMPNOMICS baby.
Butt now REV was ready to leave STRIPPING behind n go into POLITICS — or POLITRICKS as she called it.
Cuz far as she was koncerned STRIPPING n POLITICS was da same dookie pile.
Different TOILET.
Butt da same SHIT!!
ONLY difference was on one U danced on da POLES — and on da other U campaigned for da POLLS.
REV said dat to herself one day n liked da sound of it so much she decided to use it 4 her slogan n life story for when when she made dat moove:
FRUM DANCING ON THE POLES TO CAMPAIGNING FOR THE POLLS.
She had been bizzy making konnections wit alla da Politicians hoo came into da STRIP CLUB to see her Ass literally n figgeratively over da years.
Hell — THEY were even da ones hoo encouraged her to git into da Game!!
And She got on it like stank on a nigga breath.
Turned out she was a NATURAL at talkin shit to git people to do what she wanted.
After all — dats all Politicians did.
TALK SHIT.
And got PAID to do it.
Her other option was to open a CHURCH.
All da hypokritical MINISTERS who came in da club loved 2 feel on her ass while dey dropped dey collection plate money into her greedy hands n sweaty thong — all da time keeping on her bout serving God with a Church.
REV started really considering it too.
Cuz PREACHIN was PIMPIN n PROSTITUTION all rolled into One.
So She tole herself dat if POLITICKING didnt go as planned she was gone open up a Church.
Selling Niggaz on GOD was like sellin Niggaz on ASS.
And both her n God Loved Money.
She liked her chances wit all dis shit.
Butt first she was gone try her PIMP HAND at dis POLITRICKIN to see if she could stop summa da korruptive shit she had had to deal wit FIRST HAND.
The Ones she wanted to take down useta cum for HER.
Now, SHE was da One cumming for dat ASS.
REV thought: Yeah git reddy cuz dis Bitch is goin from da POLES to da POLLS to EXPOSE all U muthafuckaz!!
— to be continued —
BIO
TABITHA BLAIR is a code-switching Jamaican/Canadian writer who was born n raised in Toronto, Canada. And the author of the upcoming novel AGENT DAWN DADA to be published by Black Pulp Fiction Publishing House. You can find more of her writings on Substack and Twitter.
Substack: rudegaltabrants.substack.com
Twitter: @mstabithablair
