Texas Declares War on Virginia over Display of Naked Breasts

Will Virginia retaliate by calling Governor Abbott the biggest boob ever?

The state slogan for the state named for the Virgin Queen (Elizabeth I of England) is, “Virginia is for Lovers”, but apparently, Texans aren’t in love with Virginia. The flag is the only American state flag depicting nudity and Texans aren't happy about it. (Photo from Wikipedia in the public domain)

Fears that the South will Rise Again have been stifled once more this week as Texas started an internecine war with its fellow former partner in the ill-fated Confederacy, the State of Virginia.

In a suburban Houston school district, the Lamar School Board voiced its displeasure at the image of the Virginia State Seal on the state’s flag, calling it a violation of the school library’s policy against “… visual depictions of frontal nudity” in elementary school library materials.

At the center of the Virginia State flag is the state’s seal, depicting the Roman Goddess Virtus hovering over a vanquished tyrant with her toga drooping to display her left breast. It’s underscored by the Latin motto, Sic Semper Tyrannis (Thus always to tyrants).

Horrified by the public display of a breast, the district has removed the section on Virginia in online courses for grade school children.

In response, Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin is secretly reported to have urged Texans to “Cover up our differences,” and urged the school board to, “Not get you tits in a ringer.”