The Child Within

Regrets and guilt

Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi on Unsplash

I was young
And had a baby

And the baby changed me
In every way imaginable

Until the baby grew and I
Was the one that was a baby,
Still learning how to grow
And feel.

I had been left and abandoned
Before I could be shown
How to be a woman.
How to mother.

How to live, honestly.
No one had those skills around
Me.

I searched and ran and tried
To act normal
But the act was too hard to
Hold on to.

I got found out and had to surrender
To the fact that I can’t keep going
Like this.

I had to come clean.
My white flag was raised,
I was fighting for air,

While the rest of the world
Went shopping and to brunch
With mom on Sundays,
Had family dinners and someone to
Call.