The Smiling Pile of Shit Emoticon Expresses an Emotion of Solidarity
But before this funny emoticon, there are and persist in life many other emotions with poop as the protagonist
Evil: when I was a child and I was walking the streets with some of my friends, we would get very happy when a dog would appear before our eyes trying to throw a turd and we, as we were good rascals, would link my middle finger of the right hand with the middle finger of the left hand of my friend and we would stretch hard.
As a matter of fact, it became impossible for the dog to unload and sometimes he even became anguished… Huh? Have you also done this kind of doggy thing to the poor dogs? Mmmm…
Evil: when I was a child and I was roaming the fields with other children, our expedition had, as its main objective, to put our eyes on the trees to discover nests of sparrows and goldfinches and also of hoopoes that make their nests in the trunks of the trees and when we were lucky enough to discover a nest of this beautiful colorful bird, we would play an important trick on it.
As hoopoe nests smell terrible and no one is able to get their nose close to them for even two seconds, as punishment we would fill the nest with cow poop as if telling the hoopoe “Oh, what, you have chocolate at home? Well, have some more chocolate until you’re sick of it!” Huh? Did they do this to the poor hoopoes too? Mmmm…
Embarrassment: when you and I have gone straight to the toilet bowl to release our little gift and when we get into position we realize that our buttocks suddenly behave like a machine gun and the poop is partly present with its characteristic color on top of the toilet lid that as you know we have not had time to lift because of the urgency of the operation… Huh? Yes, you too…
Anguish: when anyone else or myself are taking a long bus ride with our asses comfortably seated on the couch and suddenly the turd insistently insists on getting out even though we and our pants have put a radical stop sign on it….
However: with every added minute that passes the little brown friend becomes more mischievous wanting to play a trick on us and the only thing our mind is able to think about is numbers: how many kilometers and exact minutes are left to reach our destination without the turd sticking its head out and shitting here in front of everyone? Huh? Yeah, you too.
Guilt: when you and I are at home and suddenly and unintentionally we let out a string of farts that do not sing and a while later we realize that this homemade garment that hides our ass now without mistake we can classify it as a prodigal underwear of pigeons that we will hide in the laundry basket.
Finally, our girlfriend or wife discovers it, getting angry enough with us to feel that guilt that we do not exorcise until one or the other agrees to forgive us. Huh? Yes, you too.
Fear: When you’re a parent and you have a noon appointment with your teenager’s guardian and you’re rushing your child to get ready for the appointment but five minutes before you leave you have to visit the toilet bowl because you feel loaded and when you put your buttocks on the toilet bowl lid you realize you are more loaded than usual or rather constipated.
Then you squeeze with all your strength until you get purple and the turd does not want to show its head but you keep squeezing with all your strength until you feel like vomiting because you have been trying to release the gift for fifteen minutes and there is no way.
On top of that, your lower eye hurts, and then the fear of being late for the appointment with the tutor and your teenage son now running towards you and trying to open the bathroom door that you keep closed with your foot stretching a leg from the toilet where still after many sweats your ass is still anchored without the hope of the immediate bliss of getting out of it, my God! Huh? Yes, you too…
P.S.: Blaming our various emotions on the turd alluded to in this article is a cop-out. We would be more honest and truthful if we understood that this subject that concerns us has little to do with morals and on the contrary too much to do with the graces and misfortunes of the eye of the ass.
