The Sologamy
They say a man is a social animal, though I am not too sure about the social part; however, he lives in a society and acts according to its conventions. We humans have been following the same template over the course of our existence.
Men should find the perfect women, and women should find the perfect men, or it can be men searching for perfect men or women searching for perfect women. It's just the different permutations of 2 individuals who can be the same or opposite sex. Here is a graphical representation of it. The search is generally like
Men — — — — — — — — — — Perfect women
Women — — — — — — — — Perfect men
Men — — — — — — — — — — -Perfect men
Women — — — — — — — — -Perfect women.
(If you like to complicate it further, feel free to add gender identity variables.)
Everyone is looking for the perfect partner despite knowing that no one is perfect. Such thinking is hypocritical, if not stupid. It can be different combinations of men and women, but the basic premise is to get married, have kids, and teach their kids to follow the same process, which is great, provided one finds the right person.
It’s been the norm over centuries, and it is the same process through which societies continue to exist. Although most don't mind following the same process, there is a new trend emerging called ‘sologamy.’
Sologamy means the individual decides against marrying someone else and subsequently having kids. A person decides to stay single for their life, and they marry themselves. (I know what you are thinking, but we won’t discuss how sex is done in sologamy ).
Some may say it’s Narccism 2.0, but if you look at the divorce rates these days, Sologamy doesn’t seem like a bad deal. Indeed, it is a respite from the burden of finding a life partner and also shields you from a bitter divorce and its unfolding drama. For instance, in sologamy, you can argue with yourself and don’t have to care about who wins.
The social media culture has encouraged a culture of pretense. There is so much toxicity around that even alcohol has become refreshing. It is increasingly becoming difficult to find the right person.
I had a bad marriage even after years of a committed relationship; it broke down within six months, and it was then we realized we weren’t a right fit. She was more of a TikTok girl, and I was a typical 9 GAG guy. It had to end. I am not even sure that the right one even exists, but she doesn’t have to. Sologamy is here to save the day.
The main drawback of this sologamy is that you have to be at peace with yourself. It doesn't leave much chance for emotional support and validation, and yes, you might have to die alone, but then, do all couples die together other than in absurd romantic tragedies?
But what about the future of the human race? I guess it will destroy itself anyway with the likes of futile wars, unchecked materialism, novel viruses, and global warming. So is sologamy for everyone? No, even chocolate is not for everyone ( some people have cocoa allergies), but sologamy is yet another option for living your life; if you can’t find the right person for yourself, then you better find thyself.
