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The Weaponization of Pizza
America’s new greasy pastime
I’ll take your pizza! Forward that pepperoni to me. Yeah, they know where you live. Your security bubble has dribbled off the crust and clumped onto the box. But, I’ve got a fork. I’m not proud. I’ll scrape up the congealed scraps for you — every last greasy smear of what’s left of your protection.
For goodness’ sake, I’m the Lady Behind the Blinds — just another scared slice of the populace, living in fear and leftovers. Why did you think you were immune? What — you’re a judge? You’re important? What? You ruled against the orange-haired man and thought you’d walk away untouched?
Justices, Please!
The delivery driver has your address, your kid’s name, and a gross pineapple pizza with your fear baked in. Didn’t you know February was officially kicked off Gift-an-Anonymous-Pizza Season — a celebratory season for federal judges who dared to rule against Trump administration policies?
Mangia! Mangia! Wake up and smell the fake Parmigiano!
Judge J. Michelle Childs, who blocked the firing of whistleblower watchdog Hampton Dellinger, didn’t get a thank-you card. Oh. Shucks! She got seven unsolicited pizzas!
“It’s really an unnecessary and unfortunate threat to our…
