Thriving Brain Seeking New Body
Think-tank announces shuffle to move forward
TORONTO, ON — Brain ©, a publicly-traded think-tank based near Toronto, Ontario, has announced it is seeking a new body to guide it more confidently into the future.
The current body, also known simply as “V1”, has outlasted its usefulness, says Jeff Hayward, Brain’s board chairman.
“We’ve had 47 years of solid service from V1,” said Hayward, speaking at a press conference at the Ritz-Carlton in Toronto this morning. “Brain needs to find a replacement quickly, or the company might literally topple.”
Hayward made reference to V1’s recent aches and pains, noting its constant need for rest was holding back Brain’s ideas from reaching the market.
He also expressed dismay that V1 is no longer aligned with the youthful image of the company.
“Sometimes you literally need new blood,” he told reporters.
Not clear if the move was mutual
Hayward would not answer direct questions about whether V1 had been voted out by the board, or if it made the choice to part ways.
“It has become clear to all of us that if we do not find a V2, Brain © will no longer achieve its growth targets,” he explained. “Without a…
