To Authors Whose Characters Have Sex the Moment They Wake Up
Most Humans aren’t built for that. Especially Older Humans.
It is not natural when two actors (in a movie) or characters (in a book) open their eyes after a full night of sleep and immediately engage in passionate sexual intercourse.
That is unless they’re androids whose mouths don’t smell like sewers and who don’t share the human need to urinate. Is it possible that some grown adults sleep through the night like babies and wake up fully emptied and smiling despite not wearing diapers?
I could swallow the idea of immediate morning coitus, perhaps, if one of the people, like Mrs. Maisel, jumps out of bed twenty minutes early, brushes her teeth, showers, shaves her legs, rubs cream on her dewy skin, adds a little eyeliner and dons a fresh, silky peignoir before slipping back into bed next to her sleeping partner.
For non-human readers (who might not understand) humans must release liquids from their bodies and continuously tend to their mouths. In real life, very few humans past childhood pop up in the morning without needing to take care of additional requirements including the removal of a retainer or the unplugging of a CPAP machine.
And there’s a side issue — Is there a male of the species past the age of, well, any age, who doesn’t emit digestive gases as he rises in the morning (or before) after a night of excessive food or drink (another disturbing human tendency)? Human females of a certain age are more likely to control their flatulence only because that’s how they were raised.
Just brainstorming here, but you, the author, could write a scene in which both humans rise in the middle of the night to relieve themselves of all burdens. The larger of the two might snuggle up against the smaller from a backward position in which morning exhalation is not an issue.
I offer it as an elegant and practical solution.
