Twenty-Five Years Later
I am so grateful for life
And before you know it,
Like breeze the age comes and goes
Just like a flower that buds and then blooms,
Your laughter resounds in the halls of life
And your tears bottled in the store of creation.
Beautiful brown child, God did His thing and loved you despite yourself
Because, you are His work of art.
This new age is giving me goosebumps and anxiety. I was just seventeen a few days back, how am I this old?
I cannot even begin to explain how I feel. I am usually excited about my birthdays, especially since age seventeen but this particular one makes me very terrified. I am entering into an age that transcends into the late 20s and egbami, I am not prepared. How is it that this new age is even making me see things differently? Ahhhh, I am not a baby anymore.
Despite my fear of the new age, I have heard that people who die below thirty are children or are considered too young to die. That is the assurance I have, I am younger than thirty so it is not that much of a big deal, or is it?
When I was eight, I once thought that I would be married by this age. I would probably meet a man at NYSC camp like my aunty and marry before I turn twenty-six. Well, reality stared at me and laughed in my face, she said it was a funny joke. At least, on the bright side, I finished my tertiary education at twenty-two, finished my NYSC service at twenty-four, and stayed alive despite the many setbacks just by God's grace.
I am not going to cry anymore even though this new age or phase still scares me but I am going to be grateful, grateful for many things; the big wins and the small wins, the gift of life and the gift of a family even if it is dysfunctional. I am grateful for the friends I have and the acquaintances I have made, you guys are amazing.
I am so grateful for having a partner I was very committed to although the relationship eventually broke off. I am also glad I got to see myself as a terrible person and a good person. I am very glad that I was given a shot at life and that I am still here, even if I don’t know what I am doing but I wake up every day and I get the chance to write even if it does not always make sense.
There is a lot to be grateful for so I need to stop worrying and take my mind off things I cannot control and focus on things I can control. Even if the past couple of months had me depressed for a bit, I am grateful I got to see this day, it is such an honour, some people do not live up to twenty or even twenty-five but here I am transcending one of the pivotal ages I feared.
It goes to say there will be a lot of mindset shift, character development, spiritual growth, and self-love in abundance but I am hoping I make the best out of this year and achieve the goals I set for myself.
Talking about goals, I was that person that never really cared about goals, or maybe I did without realizing but this year, I am more intentional about it. I was never one to write out goals for the weak but it seems it stemmed from a place of growth and a little heartache. Well, I was happy to win those small itty-bitty goals and I am glad I did that. I still don't know what I want or how to become the rich woman I desire (and need) to be, but I get to be young every day I wake up so that is another thing to be grateful for.
You are only today younger than you will be tomorrow- a quote somewhere from the World Wide Web.
Hey, I am very glad you stuck around through this and lent me your listening ears. Thank you for reading what I wrote and I appreciate your audience.
I will just say the words my heart wants to hear “Happy Birthday Perpetual Iyere, may lines fall in pleasant places for you” but my brain is hoping I come up with realistic goals that I will follow up with actions.
Thank you again for being my audience ❤️.
