Which Interstellar Space Probe are You?
To date, there are five different man-made objects that have left or are on a trajectory to leave the solar system, Pioneer 10/11, Voyager 1 / 2, and New Horizons. If you’re the sort of person I am, you may be wondering to yourself, “Which one would I be based on my personality traits”. I have some good news for you, you happen to be on the one and ONLY internet quiz that can tell which deep space interstellar probe you are, or if you’re actually not an interstellar space probe. Not everyone’s cut out to make it past the Heliopause. Not everyone can survive the termination shock! Please answer these questions truthfully, God is watching, or if you don’t believe in God, our website analytics are watching you.
To interactively take the quiz go here to my Wordpress site
1. Would you ever give a stranger your address?
a. Yes, generally I’ll give some nearby locations, but oh gosh, I feel like I shouldn’t give up that much info.
b. Yes but encoded on some vinyl into an encoded picture of where I live, hmm, may not be smart, there are some insane people out there that would stalk me down
c. No are you crazy?
d. Uhhm, maybe after I get to know them
2. What are your go-to road trip stops?
a. Jupiter and MAAYBE Saturn if there’s time. You can’t get anywhere without Jupiter! I’m all about getting from point A to point B.
b. Like everywhere; Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune! All the major site seeing stops.
c. Jupiter, Pluto, and a lot of lesser-known asteroids, they’re so out of the way, there was just no time for the big tourist stops when you go for the obscure destinations.
d. Buc-ee’s if we’re lucky but the best we can normally do is Love’s gas station or a natural bridge or lake state park somewhere.
3. How well do you keep in touch with old friends?
a. I haven’t talked to any of my friends since January 23, 2003, I’m just a total recluse.
b. Once every few months, it’s all you need to keep in touch.
c. I text my friends daily, no matter how far I am, I always say good morning, or send a cool pic I took.
d. Usually just when I think about them.
4. How do you make your first impression?
a. I show them the naked body of a man and a woman because that covers most people’s tastes.
b. I say hello in 56 different languages before playing my handpicked playlist of classical music and folk songs from tribes living in 3rd world countries to show off how well-rounded I am.
c. I like to present the contents of whatever I found in my pocket which consists of two quarters, two US flags, some CDs, a piece of scrap from an old project, and the cremated ashes of the dead astronomer Clyde Tombaugh, may he rest in peace.
d. A nice firm handshake and some light chit-chat
5. What sign are you?
a. Aries
b. Virgo
c. Some say I’m an Aquarius, but I’m really a Capricorn.
d. I don’t believe in that made-up nonsense.
6. How well do you see?
a. Not great, I can only squint and see out of a 0.03-degree wide photopolarimeter so I have to scan up and down or left and right until I can make out ANYTHING. It’s mostly for science.
b. I see alright, I can usually make things out at like 0.42 milliradians level, but when I squint, I can usually see things as small as 6 micro radians.
c. Clearer than anyone else man. Don’t tell my parents but I see all of the colors, and I don’t just mean like the ones in the rainbow. There are more colors in the rainbow than that. They don’t tell you about them! The last time I told someone, I started getting drug tested, so keep this between you and me.
d. Not at like a 5–6 microradian level but I wear contacts, but I think I could drive without them if I really needed to.
7. What energizes you?
a. 4 SNAP-19 radioisotope thermoelectric generators, I’m old school like that.
b. I’s a hungry boy, 24 pressed plutonium-238 oxide spheres. YUM!
c. some 9.75kg plutonium-238 oxide pellets, hey, it gets you up in the morning.
d. I cannot start my day without a cup of coffee unless you mean psychologically, I’m an ambivert so not sure.
8. What do you always have with you when you leave the house?
a. A Helium Vector Magnetometer, a Quadrispherical Plasma Analyzer, A Charged Particle Instrument, A Cosmic Ray Telescope, A Geiger Tube Telescope, a Trapped Radiation Detector, Meteoroid Detectors, an Infrared Radiometer, and a broken camera phone
b. An Imaging Science System, a Radio Science System, a vast collection of Spectrometers, my Triaxial Fluxgate Magnetometer passed down by my mother, a Low Energy Charged Particle Instrument, a Cosmic Ray System, a Planetary Radio Astronomy Investigator, a Photopolarimeter System, a Plasma Wave Subsystem, and my Record Collection. My girlfriend always makes fun of me for bringing so much stuff!
c. Never leave my house without my Long-Range Reconnaissance Imager, a Solar Wind Toroidal Electrostatic Analyzer, an Energetic Particle Spectrometer, an ultraviolet imaging spectrometer, a boring normal telescope I named Ralph, a dust counter to count dust with, and a Radio Science Experiment I got from selling popcorn as a boy scout.
d. Wallet, Phone, Keys
9. What’s your Instagram like?
a. Jupiter, Saturn, and a blurry out-of-focus picture of Ganymede. 12 likes by some family members
b. It’s basically like a travel blog, you name the major tourist spot, Uranus, Jupiter, Saturn, I’ve been there and got some serious pics that have gotten me thousands of followers.
c. So most people take all the stereotypical touristy photo’s of the Trevi fountain or Jupiter’s massive storm the size of Earth but I go for a more artistic slant and take obscure photos of things like Pluto and some asteroids in the Kuyper belt. Planets are so overrated. I mean, I’ll take the touristy photo’s, but it’s not like what I’m known for
d. Usually just selfy’s and some nature pics
10. Imposter syndrome time. Are you really a deep space probe in interstellar space or do you just aspire to be one?
a. I mean, I’m not in deep space yet, I took a long route through a tail of solar wind, I’ll be there in a few years though.
b. Oh, you better believe I’m in deep space ever since the teens! Glad I got out before Skibidi toilet or whatever the heck that thing is!
c. Sure yeah, I’m still in the solar system but I’m getting there soon! 2043, just watch out!
d. Ha, ya got me, not really in interstellar space
To interactively take the quiz go here to my Wordpress site
Otherwise: Count up which letter you most frequently chose
If you mostly chose A’s
a. You’re either Pioneer 10 or 11, you’ve got kind of an awful camera and aren’t really in interstellar space (yet!), but you were the first and the kids aughta respect you just for that! However; considering that you promised to take this quiz honestly and Pioneer 10/11 hasn’t contacted the Earth in twenty years, I’m going to call you a liar! You’re not allowed to take internet quizzes ever again!
If you mostly chose B’s
a. Oh cool, you’re the actual Voyager satellite! How were the 70s? I bet Far out cause you’re the furthest out there man. You like stopping at all the big ones, Jupiter, Uranus, Saturn, yeah, I guess that feels a little basic, but you paved the way for everyone! Congratz on getting away from it all, every time I see my full inbox I always wonder what it would be like for my coworkers to need a Deep Space Network of satellites to send me an email. I bet I wouldn’t get invited to so many system integration and architecture meetings.
If you mostly chose C’s
a. Wow, I can’t believe my humble website is being visited by THE New Horizons space probe. You’ve got all the latest gadgets and get to be the first to visit Pluto and some Kuyper belt asteroids. Well, good luck out there dude, you’re almost out to interstellar space. Only like 20 more years to go!
If you mostly chose D’s
Sorry but you’re not actually a space probe. You like doing things like orbiting the sun, being bombarded with constant supersonic solar wind, and staying inside the solar system. There’s even a good chance you haven’t visited a planetary body or asteroid other than Earth. Unless you are a space probe, thanks for taking the quiz honestly, you wouldn’t believe how many people out there lie about being an interstellar space probe. I think it’s JUST to pick up women.
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