Why Does The African Save Their Meat For Last?
And why you should never open the door while eating meat
In your culture, is meat eaten (A) Beginning of the meal? (B) At the end of the meal? ( C) As a meal? (D) Who cares about any of this?
In (West) Africa, we have a meat culture you should know about.
Picture this:
Your food is placed in front of you, there is a chunk of meat staring at you just from atop your place of Jollof rice. You know you just want to reach out and grab that piece of meat but you don’t. You just don’t.
Why?
You already know that your host — be it your mother or your friend, will not be happy if you eat that meat first.
The Meat Questions:
You want to eat the meat first?: Are you trying to say you are full already and will not eat the rest of the meal? Why didn’t you say so, so they do not give you food?
You want to eat the meat first?: Are you saying that whoever gave you that food is a bad cook? You don’t trust their meal to even taste it. You just dived straight to the meat?
If you eat the meat before eating the food: What will you eat afterward?
You want to eat the meat first?: Are you in a hurry to somewhere because that is the only reason anyone will grab their meat — you are dashing off and need a quick protein to stave off the hunger and assuage your stomach for a while.
You want to eat the meat first?: Who raised you to have such bad manners? Eating meat first sure shows you cannot delay gratification.
The Meat Questions — Part 2 (aka): Can you eat meat as a whole meal?
In (West) Africa: Uhhh
Picture This: You go to the market and buy yourself a chunk of beef to grill and eat as a solo meal. This you would never tell anyone. You grill your meat to your tasteful perfection, then wash your hands and get down to business.
Your friend — that one that ignores your “call me or text me before you come to my house,” boundaries, just as much as you ignore theirs, chooses this precious hour to visit you.
You plaster on your African smile to gladly welcome all who come to your doorstep. You welcome them in.
Your uninvited friend says gleefully, “My feet are beautiful” (Cultural — their legs brought them at a good time).
You die a little inside but, “Yes” You agree enthusiastically.
You can see them salivating so you also say, “Wash your hands and join me,”
Your friend washes their hands promptly and sits. You break off a part of the meat and eat. Your friend stares at you.
You know he is expecting a meal but you say nothing as you break off another chunk of meat and eat.
You see a raised eyebrow as your friend stares curiously but you are determined to say nothing so you eat a third time.
“Where is the food?” Your friend asks. Finally.
“Which food?” You ask feigning ignorance.
“The food?” He asks
“There is no food,” You tell him, knowing that you have opened a can of worms
“No food? What do you mean there is no food?”
You say nothing.
“You are just eating meat?” Your friend asks
You stare at them knowing that your wider friend circle, relatives, and work colleagues will hear this.
“Yes” You respond.
“Wait,” Your friend chuckles disbelievingly, “You just got up, went to market, bought meat, grilled it and you sat down to eat only meat?” They take you through the whole process so you confirm it. They need to be sure they do not miss out on anything when retelling this to everyone else.
“Yes,” You say. The yes sounds more like an exhale than an actual answer.
“Hehe,” Your friend chuckles then claps in disbelief before pulling off their shirt, adjusting their belt, and sitting better to begin eating the meat with you.
You watch them watch you, reading the thoughts in their head before they begin to verbalize it.
“You must be a very rich man,” They tell you as though both of you do not earn similar pay.
You smile and swallow the meat you just chewed.
Standing up, your friend tells you of their unhappiness, “I cannot believe that you did not call me to eat this meat and this is how I would have missed it,”
“It was one of those days,” You explain
“Do you have any chilled drink to wash this down with? The meat is hooking me on my throat” They say
“Take from the fridge,” You tell them.
But you should have saved your breath as they were already halfway to your fridge before asking.
You sigh silently while promising yourself that you will not be opening your door next time the next time you grill meat — not even for God.
