Why It Spells Bloody Murder When You Want Quick Rewards
Do your values inspire you to achieve life-changing goals?
I see it growing like an epidemic, this temptation to want quick rewards. The internet boom brought the good life to our doorstep, but the flipside is more people unwilling to put in either the work or the wait.
Back in the day, we had respect for time.
We knew we had to work long & hard to become worthy of rewards.
We could accept the reality of what is. We could also place our faith in what will be. All we did was the work & the waiting game. These were the good old days of the 1990s & early 2000s.
Take work as an example. We millennials knew we had to start as interns to work our way up. But things are different these days it seems. My contemporaries complain that youth are disrespectful, they dis experience & don’t trust the process. They would rather jump from opportunity to opportunity than wait for their due.
Rather than put it down to middle age whining, I like to explore with curiosity how & why this happens.
To begin, let's talk about regular quotes like “a rolling stone gathers no moss.”
We are familiar with careers suffering when we are unwilling to wait & gain experience. We are also aware that gaining something worthwhile needs patience & work, be it weight loss, a better opportunity at work or even finding the love of your dreams. The more worthwhile the goal the longer the wait.
So why do we not want to wait?
We can talk about scenarios that push people to ditch waiting for rewards. Then there is also the type of people who are biased against the waiting game (yes there is a type & their numbers seem to be increasing).
People simply don’t want to wait because of the element of uncertainty. We become impatient in two scenarios:
- When we feel a loss of control of the outcome. This explains why more people are able to wait for a weight loss goal rather than a promotion goal. The weight loss is in their complete control.
- When we live in uncertain times. You know what is remarkable about the book ‘The Tale of Two Cities’? It is Sydney Carton’s long waiting game to get the attention of Lucie, through very turbulent & uncertain times. It seems modern-day Sydney Cartons don’t exist. In uncertain times we avoid the waiting game. This explains why people exit stocks when their prices fall. Logic dictates that they should do the exact opposite. Yet we panic & quit in an uncertain scenario. Those who win the stock market game are not those who time the market but those who are willing to wait.
This holds true for the writing business as well- the one I am in.
When I first started to post on social media I would post religiously every day. And got nada in response. I was speaking to the void & writing into it too. But persistence did pay off. In the fifth month of my social media activity, I saw traction. Cut to 2023 February. My posts become viral weekly. It is a lot easier for me to gain subscribers to my newsletter, 10 new people from LinkedIn alone join me every week.
Waiting rewards me.
This sounds logical & easy to fathom. Waiting rewards even in uncertain times. This must mean something else is at play, something that concerns either nurture or nature that makes people uncomfortable with waiting.
Are these people, highly convinced of their ability to win, so want to break the queue?
Quite the opposite. When people do not value their abilities highly or trust in themselves enough they are doubtful of their future. They don’t wish to go through a long-drawn wait.
All those who are willing to wait.
- Have faith in their abilities. Which makes them self-aware.
- Trust in a benevolent Universe. Which makes them kind in turn.
As is normally the case, everything I write deserves a deeper explanation.
Those who are self-aware place their faith in their abilities. They tend to disregard external forces that may disrupt their goals. They put their head down & focus on the hard work & then the patient waiting because they are sure of themselves.
Why kindness is a second key? Those who believe in kindness as a value trust in a benevolent Universe to give them their due.
Would you like to become more patient in waiting for your rewards?
You can try these few great habits:
Journaling: Journaling makes you self-aware & trust your abilities because it brings you face-to-face with your strengths & weaknesses. It helps you gain self-esteem when you do it right & focus on what went well.
Self-compassion: Practicing self-compassion means being kind to yourself despite your failings or shortcomings.
Setting definite time frames: When you have given yourself a time frame you know your waiting period. This works especially well for goals like weight loss or career goals.
Plan B: When the outcome is uncertain having an option B works well. You don’t waste precious time going after an uncertain goal.
The way we act every single day reflects our identity. Our core belief of who we are. I discovered that when you change the way you see yourself your actions will start to change. Your habits will reflect the new identity you’ve created for yourself.
I am not a fan of convincing. I just want to help people who get that I can help them. Check out my newsletter Ethical Badass Tales & subscribe if you feel we are the right fit for each other- https://theethicalbadass.substack.com/ .
