CHARACTER COUNTS

Would an Extra 4 Inches on Trump Have Made All the Difference in World History?

No, not THOSE 4 inches. That would be crass

If you were a tree, which one would you be? Photo by Florian Hahn on Unsplash

If only ‘Rump’s Speaker of the House — you know, his Mike Johnson — was gifted an extra 4 inches, would that have made a massive difference in world history?

I’m here to tackle that tough physical issue with all its psychological undertones and arrive at a definitive answer.

Yeah, not really.

I’m just here to have a good time and do some satire.

But first, a disclaimer:

I’ll not be talking about this 👇

Trump's escape from disaster by mere inches reveals a tiny margin with seismic impact

Any discussion of those 4 inches would be crass and I’ll not be having it.

And, come to think of it, I’ll not be addressing the other pygmy elephant in the room. Stormy Daniels already took that one on, and it wasn’t pretty.