Yellow Fever, What is it? Do I Have it? Is it Bad?
Ethical Concerns: The Debate on Racial Fetishization
I shouldn’t be defensive, only two of my three wives have been Asian. But I am sensitive to accusations that I have “yellow fever.” The term usually carries a negative connotation, implying a fetishization of Asian people.
I find myself grappling with this label, as it doesn’t align with my personal experiences: It seems there are assumptions made about people like me who have a history of favoring Asian women. People will say things and make assumptions that make one feel defensive.
But it’s always been, for me, largely about being interested in people who have connections to other cultures, especially Asian ones. My attraction has never been about any of the stereotypes. It’s been mostly an aesthetic choice.
I won’t be responsible for men, it seems they are often near my age, who clearly have such stereotypical attitudes. They’ll say: “Hey, those oriental women really know how to take care of a man”. That’s not me. I’m as put off by that attitude as anyone.
The family hasn’t been much more understanding: I remember my sister saying: “I don’t get this “Asian thing”. Why travel there, anyway? Why not just go to a nail salon”?
My father dismissed the failed second marriage as being a result of us being of different races. When questioned, he admitted, as a non-Slavic person, it was almost the same as an interracial relationship when he married my Polish mother.
As for the stereotype of the little Asian woman waiting hand and foot on her man, I have to laugh when I think of my Chinese-American second wife; she always had to be in the driver’s seat, literally. When we went somewhere, she always drove. She liked that control. My experiences defy the clichés, yet I find myself lumped into a category that I don’t fully identify with.
In my investigation of the phenomena, I came across an academic paper that is rather harsh. Written by Robin Zheng , the paper: “Why Yellow Fever Isn’t Flattering: A Case Against Racial Fetishes” condemns people who are drawn to a certain race, even if it’s only that they find their looks appealing. She says it still enforces attitudes that are oppressive.
While I understand the ethical concerns, I find it difficult to reconcile them with my personal experiences, which have been about mutual respect and shared interests, not racial objectification.
Ms. Zheng, gives no quarter to someone like me. In fact, she almost seems to frown on all interracial relationships. Unless it would seem, you failed to notice that the other person is of another race.
I would counter with the question: What about people who are attracted to, say blonds, or whatever? No hope there, she condemns that as well. My ex only dated white men exclusively, I guess she had “white fever”. I am sure the author would, in fact, be just as negative about that.
I’ve had partners from various ethnic backgrounds, so the label of “yellow fever” feels reductive. My first wife was Jewish Italian, white by current American standards. The focus should not just be on the diversity of one’s partners but also on the motivations behind these relationships.
In my case, my attraction to Asian women has been about shared values, intellectual compatibility, and yes, physical attraction — but not in the way that perpetuates stereotypes.
Navigating the ethical complexities of “yellow fever” requires a high degree of self-awareness and a willingness to examine one’s motivations critically. I’ve had to question my own choices and attractions, not to justify them but to understand them better.
The paper says It’s not enough to dismiss attraction as a mere preference; one must consider the broader impact of these choices on the whole of society. I honestly don’t think that’s fair.
In a world that is increasingly interconnected, yet still rife with racial and ethnic division, my personal journey with the term “yellow fever” serves as a small corner of the racial identity issues battled out in the US today. Do I need to challenge myself, to look beyond my personal preferences, and consider the ethical and societal implications of my choices?
It may not be just about who you love; but why you love them and what that says about the society we live in and the world we want to create. My Filipina wife and I are quite happy. It’s all moot to me. It’s more a personal investigation and philosophical inquiry.
