Your Circle and How It Defines You
Does your circle of friends define you, or does your association influence people's perception of who you are?
Many people like to believe they are an exception. They like to believe that their circle of friends does not directly affect who they are as people, but statistics have proven that that narrative is not exactly true.
I have heard people say things like, “Even though we are friends, we are different,” but are you really different?
You have to understand that friendships are built on similarities even amongst people with different personalities and this is why marriage counselors always advise single people to “marry your friend”.
Before you say, “I don't have friends”, you have family, don't you? Even if you don't have family, you live in an environment that embodies a certain lifestyle or culture, no?
Even if you feel you are immune to people's influences, you are not an island.
We are not devoid of the influences of our surroundings and these things go a long way to imprint themselves in who we are as people.
Does your circle of friends define you?
A short story:-
Clarice grew up in a dysfunctional family where domestic violence and abuse were the order of the day. She prayed and wished continually that things would change, but they didn't.
She eventually grew up and decided to stay single because she could not bear to put a child through the same experience. However, after leaving home for college, she met Donovan and experienced healthy relationships among the elders she worked with in her new community. This helped her to shape a new perception about marriage.
As she grew older, she established friendships with people who believed marriages could work and she worked on herself as an individual because her friends -directly or indirectly- believed that to attract good energy, you have to have good energy.
In this scenario, you see how the relationships she established formed some of her core beliefs. This goes to say that your friendships are important and you have to be intentional in choosing your friends because your association matters.
Does your association influence people's perception of who you are?
Jacob usually smokes weed alongside Ademide at the college field. He only smokes, but Ademide is an alcoholic who is also a chronic womanizer.
Jacob eventually gets a girlfriend, but she doesn't trust him because of the kind of friend he keeps. One day, Ademide is accused of rape, and this, you can imagine, causes a lot of unsettlement in Jacob's relationship, eventually leading to a breakup.
Who is your friend? Are you satisfied with the answer?
If you have ever read “born a crime”, the chapter where Theo was arrested for shoplifting and Trevor was called to the office to identify the other boy in the video, you will understand how much association matters.
In the aforementioned video, a white boy was beside Theo during the theft but Trevor claimed not to know the boy. However, his mother knew that the boy was Trevor because both of them were always together. Trevor never admitted the truth though.
I believe you know how much your association matters and if you don't, I hope you choose intentionally.
