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Our Company Needs More Masculine Energy
“There you are. Sit down please”.
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“There is no pleasant way to say this, but we have had several complaints. You simply do not display enough masculine energy. The company wonders if you even possess any.”
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“You were observed talking to the new intern by some of your more loyal, more useful colleagues. They were quite shocked.”
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“Precisely! You kept your hands to yourself, addressed her with respect and did not comment on her figure. Are you blind or something?! Your colleagues would have been humping her leg.”
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“We could possibly overlook one display of such an abject failure of masculinity, but this seems to have become a toxic pattern of behaviour. At the last company mixer you appeared to be completely sober. Your colleagues were shouting and punching the air. They were doing shots, telling dirty jokes, locker room talk… You left early. Do you even want to keep working for this company?”
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“You say that now, but I have been in HR for a long time and I can see the signs. You are doing more and more work, trying to hide your non-functioning with diligence, high quality output and making deadlines. That is just not the spirit we want around…
