“Quack Experimental Nation North America” — America’s New Anthem
Since this may be the last American Independence Day our country has for a very long time, I’ve decided to release a new, hopefully-easier-to-sing song to replace the outdated and clunky “Star-Spangled Banner.”
I apologize for my vocals, which qualify as cruel and unusual punishment. I won’t go too far into the weeds, but my attempts to hire professional (read: on-key) vocalists failed miserably. On the “bright” side: a White guy taking a job for which he is underqualified is as American as ultraprocessed apple pie.
SaiyaSounds created the instrumental version of the music, and I will gladly honor his request to credit him for his amazing work.
Anyone who wants to take this concept and run with it, please do. I’d appreciate a shout-out or maybe some linkage, but since I own none of this, I have no intention of being a jerk about it.
Lyrics
It’s made of fifty staaaaates,
Ranging from “meh” to “greeeaaat,”
Three-hundred-thirty million,
Livin’, chillin’.
On hills and plains
With planted grains.
It’s made of fifty staaaaates,
Some on tectonic plaaaaates.
We have both land and sea,
Washington D.C.,
And Taco Bell?
What the Hell?!?
Pilgrims went to Plymouth Rock, then westward they traversed.
Causing woe for the Natives that settled this land first.
Twenty-seven amendments to preserve our rights.
Many of them written to protect men that are White.
From sea to shining sea!
From sea to shining sea!
From sea to shining sea!
FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA!
Over two-hundred years of hodge-podge democracy.
Let’s hope we fix the flaws before the start of World War III!
Civil Wars, Civil Rights, Boston Harbor filled up with tea!
Three cheers and hip hip hooray…
U.S.A!
PLAY BALL!
For more lunacy from the Loony Liberal:
