CONCERNED CITIZENS ON WATCH

Yoga Gone Awry

Never underestimate the power and effect of stupid people in large groups.

Sweet Honeylu
Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Fuckery

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Smiling Yoga teacher Millie Law at Unity Yoga studio in namaste pose.
Yoga teacher Millie Law at Unity Yoga studio courtesy of CNN

Yoga teacher Millie Law at Unity Yoga studio courtesy of CNN

For those of you living in the United States, do you ever get that feeling that we ended up with the World’s entire supply of stupid yokels?

Yokels = an uneducated and unsophisticated person from the countryside. A naive or gullible inhabitant of a rural area or small town. How to use yokel in a sentence? I just did👆🏽up above.

You ever listen to someone speak and wonder to yourself how they keep from asphyxiating by forgetting to even remember to breathe? You remember that breathing is an involuntary function. Basically, their brain is on autopilot. Then it dawns on you….

“Every single function of their brain including problem-solving and parsing reality is on autopilot. That explains it”.

Small Town Big Happenings

Imagine this scene: the day’s yoga class has just finished. Participants are rolling up their yoga mats and putting their water bottles in duffel bags. The after-session chit-chat has died down, people are walking to their cars and the lights have just been shut off.

Just then, the serenity is shattered all at once as a group of police and various emergency vehicles come screaming to the rescue and come to a halt in front of a quiet yoga studio. 🚨

Why, you may ask?

Because moments prior, a man just so happened to be walking by and looked into the studio window and saw “a large group of people lying down.”

Lying down!!!😐

So, what did this sharp-as-a-blunt spoon, gumshoe, private eye neighborhood watch deduce from this?

Why, it couldn’t be anything else but a ritualistic murder in progress! 😱

Whew!

Thank gawd for intrepid fearless warriors such as this 🎖️. We are indeed fortunate.

There must have been at least a dozen cars parked out front. I do hope he remembered to report the twelve-car pileup too, as one does if he/she/they are a big-brained concerned citizen😇.

Songs should be written about this man 🎶.

Addressing Concerned Public

Man lying down on couch in a Psychotherapy Session with a Psychologist
Are the voices telling you to report a yoga studio for mass murder in the room with us right now? Man in a Psychotherapy Session with a Psychologist. Photo by Antoni Shkraba on Pixels

Millie Laws, owner of Unity Yoga, in a Facebook post, had to remind the general public that they should not be alarmed.

Dear general public, please be mindful that the observatory has lots of yoga classes happening in the evenings. We are not part of any mad cult or crazy clubs. -Millie Laws

I mean….what do you say to that? The fact that this post was necessary to calm the general public makes me despair of humanity. Maybe we shouldn’t survive the fallout of a major collision with a large asteroid also known as a hard reset. 😑

I kid of course, but am I?

It’s Not All Bad News

If you ever hear your neighbor telling you unhinged conspiracy theories that Hilary Clinton is eating babies in a nonexistent basement of a Pizza parlor, or your uncle telling you that the government has already admitted the existence of aliens, take heart.

There is a townie in Chapel St. Leonards so stupid that he saw a room full of people lying down and reported a mass murder without even bothering to check first.

This has been rambling musings by Honeylu. Thank you for reading🌸

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Further reading and interest:

‘Ritual mass murder’ report in Chapel St Leonards was yoga class — BBC News https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-66742339.amp

https://instagram.com/unity_yoga1?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Millie Does Yoga | Facebook

Millie at Unity Yoga — YouTube

https://medium.com/bouncin-and-behavin-fuckery/yoga-gone-awry-b151e723afdb?sk=680b172f89731be14cc041c220d7a275

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Sweet Honeylu
Bouncin’ and Behavin’ Fuckery

I love writing stories and scathing commentary on daily events. Snark is my love language. Will snark for food.