New Friends: I had a feeling you were chill like that.
I love meeting new people! Each interaction is a unique battle of suspicion and wit. “When will the bomb drop? When will the bomb drop?” We wait, biding our time for the thing that tips the scales and gives us that “ah ha!” moment.
“Something has to be wrong with them.”
“I knew it was too good to be true ….”
But when it doesn’t come, there’s a feeling of relief and excitement thinking about where things might go from there. Cool people really do exist and all hope is not lost for humanity, because here it is — in this moment, shared between us as the world races past in a blur of time and experiences.
You move differently when you make new friends. You walk a little taller, act more composed and hope they don’t notice the seams of your world hastily stitched together — or at least hope they don’t.
Think of friendship like a buff! It gives you plus 10 to all your stats: style, wellness, banter, presence. The feeling is akin to becoming who I was always meant to be.
The fact you don’t know each other very well may give you the confidence to try new things. Or, they can often offer fresh perspectives that change the way you think. I’m personally fond of letting people ramble about their lives and picking up life lessons along the meandering road of the conversation.
As an adult out of school, the urge to get out and meet new people is more relevant than ever. Opportunities to make new friends seem rare, but it’s not as unobtainable as it might seem. Sure it’s awkward, but so is anything you don’t practice.
You have to figure out what works for you and be willing to make a fool of yourself every now and then (that’s usually when the magic happens anyway). I’ve found that people generally don’t mind conversation, so long as you’re respectful of them, their interests, and their time.
Now, you won’t make friends with every stranger on the street, but you’ve got to get out there to even start playing the metaphorical game. Though, even in the interim between the search for new relationships and the actual acquisition of them, special moments still spring up.
A nice conversation with someone in the park. An impromptu friend at a club whom you dance with into the wee hours of the morning. That nice store employee who complimented you on your new hairstyle you were nervous about wearing out.
You may say farewell to them for the last time when the lights come on or when the groceries are paid for, but that doesn’t make the time you spent with them any less special.
When they go home, they may rave about the stranger who left a particularly good impression on them and about how they wished they had thought to ask for a phone number or username. Then, almost identically, you’ll go home and do the very same with your own compadres.
If you do manage to find a new pal out in the wild though, take care of them. There’s a chance you’ll both be strangers in strange lands, so give each other grace when needed, but encourage them to break out of their comfort zone a bit.
Learn new things and teach all that you can so long as they are willing to listen. Watch out for the weirdos, but if you manage to find some good people, consider giving new friends a chance.
