Let’s Get This Party Started
A message from your founders…
Greetings, my loves, my lives. Welcome to dot. dot. dot.
The basketblog is dead. Killed in a war whichwas over too quickly to even begin. Chopped in the very place it stood. What killed the basketblog, you ask? We did. Ever since the internet was but a tickle in the scrotum of that which was the age of the personal computer, the basketblog has taken many forms. Analytics blogs. Fan blogs. Joke blogs. Photo blogs. But, alas the basketblog is no more. There is only dot. dot. dot.
At this point, you probably want to know, “What’s the name of the game?”
My cofounder Jack and I started dot. dot. dot. to combat a pervasive lack of substantive basketball analysis. Sure, the other blog boys may have “advanced stats,” “analysis,” and “facts,” but do you know what they don’t have? Heart. Cher. Guy Fieri. Intangibles. What are the intangibles of a basketblog, you ask? Intangibles bring the things to the table that a normal basketblog couldn’t dream of? Don’t come here for VORP, Per 36 Minute Stats, and offseasons where we pretend to like Nikola Jokic far more than we do. And don’t you even insult our integrity by expecting game recaps and analysis. Instead, come here to be enlightened! You’ll be screaming gimme, gimme, gimme some more of the best chopped, sauced, and immaculately plated basketball analysis on this side of Waterloo.
dot. dot. dot. Takes all the biggest stories and runs them through some combination of three (and growing) filters and asks the following questions.
— Is there a basketball involved?
— Does said basketball relate to Mamma Mia?
— Can said basketball/Mamma Mia content relate to Food Network, as well?
If the answer is yes to at least 2 of those, we then run it through our expert editorial board and make sure only the best concert sees your eyes. Say goodbye to ESPN. They don’t love you. Deadspin? More like dead on arrival. dot. dot. dot. prides itself on providing the worldthe most thorough basketball, Mamma Mia, and Food Network coverage on the planet, and we are only going to get better as we expand! The competition can dance and jive as they please, but alas, there is only one blog dancing above them all.
You’ve been cheated by every other basketblog, and we think you know when it happened. So make up your mind, your relationship with other blogs must come to an end. It’s time to make your home right here at dot. dot. dot. The ONLY basketblog that fills your needs in every way imaginable.
May the Super Trouper Beams find you all,
Bradley
Are you sick and tired of everything boring that is NBA coverage? Do you have an affinity for funky joints all over this country? As Bradley said before — the basketblog is dead. Marvel told us that Infinity War would be the most ambitious crossover event in history.
They were wrong.
As Alex Guarnaschelli says on the hit television series Chopped, “You always have to cut sweetness with acidity [usually vinegar].” Much like a successful dish on Chopped, a successful blog does not just focus on one flavor of coverage.
Jaylen Brown skydiving with Guy Fieri? We’ve got that. Donna Sheridan with Harry, Bill and Sam on a banana boat a la Lebron and crew? We’ve got that. Marcus Samuelsson taking his immaculate fashion sense to Skopelos? We’ve got that too. Here at dot. dot. dot. we’re committing to being a “fun blog.” We hope you’ll take a chance on us, because honey, we’re free. If you’ve got no place to go, if you’re feeling down. We’ll do our very best and that ain’t no lie.
As the NBA season approaches, we hope that you will continue to come to us here at dot. dot. dot. for coverage of your favorite teams, players, chefs, and fictional characters, especially those played by Cher and Andy Garcia. We have exciting content planned for the future! Knowing me, and knowing you, there’s nothing we can do. You just have to face it. dot. dot. dot. is poised to have the best NBA coverage this year and beyond.
So that’s it for this Flavortown road trip, but don’t you worry, there’s plenty more posts all over this country, and we’ll be looking for you next time on Triple D.
Jack
