The REAL 11 (not necessarily) Hot (not just) Male Chefs
US Weekly recently posted a list of “11 Hot Male Chefs.” They got some things right, but they got a lot wrong. Let’s fix it.
Ok, I lied. I’m not listing the eleven hottest male chefs, because that’s kind of stupid! I’m just going to list a bunch of chefs I like because they all deserve to be elevated, not just men (US Weekly’s list was still bad though), and because this is way more fun. This reads kind of like a grade school project where a child just googled facts about chefs and copy pasted them into paragraphs, which uhhh it kind of is. There’s no specific order here, but the first is definitely the best. Oh also I’m not doing 11 because that’s a lot, I’ll do like 8 or something because writing is hard!
- Alex Guarnaschelli
Michael Jordan. Wayne Gretzky. Diana Taurasi. LeBron James. Alex Guarnaschelli. Just a few of the greatest of all time in their respective fields. What is there to say about Alex Guarnaschelli? Iron Chef, Chopped judge, New Yorker, multiple-time quoter of my tweets, the best user of social media out of every celebrity chef is undeniably among the GOATs of chefs, internet personalities, and NBA fans. Her posting ability rivals that of dril, the riffsman, and Mychal Thompson. Also, she’s never lost a cooking competition ever.*
*- please don’t fact check this, just trust me
2. Jet Tila
From feature on Best Thing I Ever Ate to Anthony Bourdain’s tour guide to Cutthroat Kitchen judge all the way to emcee on Iron Chef America, Jet Tila’s comeup in the food TV world has been extraordinary. The official first Culinary Ambassador of Thai Cuisine also happens to have matching tattoos with Alton Brown (more on him later), and is a noted skeptic of corn on pizza, as everyone should be. OH! He also holds the world record for the world’s largest stir-fry, which is insanely cool.
3. Emeril Lagasse
A pioneer! Food TV would not be where it is without Emeril Live. Just some of the esteemed guests Emeril had when food TV was in its infancy: Joe Perry, Jack Nicholson, Chick Corea, Wynton Marsalis, Queen Latifah and Julia Child. Providing LIVE entertainment AND cooking for years along with Doc Gibbs and the Emeril Live Band, Emeril deserves more respect as a pioneer of celebrity chefs as entertainers (He also once tweeted about the New Orleans Pelicans so there’s your NBA connection. BAM).
4. Scott Conant
Not really.
REAL Number 4. Sunny Anderson
If you don’t watch her daily Instagram live videos of her in her car either putting on her makeup or a variety of other things you’re seriously missing out. Co-host of The Kitchen (a criminally underrated show, weekends at 11am EST), Sunny is another chef NBA fan, who knows basketball history better than perhaps every other celebrity chef. She also wears almost exclusively Adidas, which is personally something that I appreciate more.
5. Geoffrey Zakarian
A fashion icon. Getting fits off since 1959. Iron Chef. Co-host of The Kitchen. Thick, jacked frame. GZ checks all the boxes for insanely cool chef. Geoffrey’s suave, snarky attitude on Chopped: After Hours gives him a charm matched by few people, let alone chefs. The Worcester, MA native, sandwich master, lures iron chef competitors into a false sense of security by getting them lost in his eyes, and them embarrasses them on national TV for millions of viewers to see.
6. Guy Fieri
A perfect human. His only flaw, perhaps, is his hatred of eggs (explained here). But, as they explain on this IGN message board, even Jesus had flaws. I shouldn’t have to say much about the hero who goes searching for funky joints all over this country, who’s greatest joy in life is tricking competitors on Guy’s Grocery Games with this 3, 2, 1, go antics. The Spiritual Gangster himself is the best Warriors fan (sorry Hugo), he bridges the NBA-pop culture-food worlds like no one else can. Aside from all this, he is a genuinely good person! When I was 13 or maybe 12ish he said to me/my dad at a book signing “what’re you feeding this guy, he’s a big kid!” and it changed my life forever. Nothing but the best for MY president of Flavortown.
7. Terry Rozier
Spaghetti. Sugar. Ranch. White bread. The preceding chefs on this list all have a signature dish of some sort, but none can hold a candle to the Tito special. Alex Guarnaschelli frequently talks about “mouth feel” — the textural balance of the components in a dish — on Chopped, and usually contestants fail to cook a dish that has that good “mouth feel.” Terry, however, knows all about this. The soft bread, the crunch of the sugar, the firm, al dente spaghetti. The balance of flavors between the sweet sugar and garlicky tomato sauce. Not only does Terry have his signature sandwich, but his other creation, dipping hot cheetos in cream cheese, has turned the snack food industry on its head over the past year. Oh I also love Terry, not just because he’s on the Boston Celtics. As a close personal friend (and birthday sharer) of his, I have a vested interest in his success and happiness and would do anything for him.
8. Alton Brown
As the host of the greatest TV show of all time, Good Eats, Alton couldn’t NOT make this list. The master of Cutthroat Kitchen chaos is reloading his original show (coming October 15!) to continue his education of the masses about cooking and science and history and geography and a whole mess of other things. Alton isn’t an NBA fan, nor has he ever quoted/responded to/retweeted me on Twitter, but that doesn’t matter, he’s perfect in every way. I also once embarrassed Paula Deen (yikes) (this was years ago) in front of hundreds of people by asking her to tell him that he’s my favorite Food Network chef, so you can tell I’ve been a lifelong fan.
So that’s pretty much it, here’s a good tweet.
