No One Is ‘Happy to Be Fat’ — and This Weight-Loss Magic Drug Just Proved It
The ugly side effects of being extremely attractive
For diabetics, “Ozempic” is just the name of the drug they would need to take unless they wanna get a shout-out from the obituary section of their local newspaper.
But for celebs, TikTokers, and anyone looking for a set-it-and-forget-it way to achieve cosmetic weight loss, Ozempic is the new calorie-burning magic drug that is so effective it’s probably demoting $2,000 Peloton bikes to laundry chairs as I write this.
The side effects are gangbusters.
Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, acute pancreatitis, kidney problems, bloating, fever… getting a jab of this stuff is like the aftermath of trying to French kiss a king cobra — but the many, many people who use it do swear by it.
Hell, even Elon Musk got on Wegovy (a stronger version of Ozempic), and to be fair, he no longer looks like he was gonna need adjacent seats and extra leg room at the Mars rocket.
The demand is so high people have been turning on their VPNs and maxing out credit cards on the black market to get their hands on the drug. Let me emphasize black market here, because Apple has been trying to achieve this kind of brand…
