Lesson 3. Two Models of Happiness

Let’s concretise the concept of “happiness” with the help of two practical frameworks

First a little immersion in the problem: why do we have a complex relationship with the theme of happiness?

The two motives that drive us

Each action has a specific reason, but if you dig deeper, then our actions are guided by only 2 aspirations:

→ To avoid suffering,

→ To find happiness.

This idea of ​​motivation has long been accepted by psychologists (for example, it was adhered too by Freud), and agrees well with the discoveries of neurophysiologists (at the level of physiology, our behaviour is controlled by “signalling” hormones that create a sense of pleasure and anxiety).

The motive “to avoid suffering”, is a reaction to a threat or discomfort. It encourages us to seek shelter, food or, for example, work with a sufficient level of earnings.

Once we are safe and comfortable, the desire to find happiness is included.

In our reality, happiness is the number one motive.

We have few reasons for suffering: there are no acute problems with physical security, lack of food or unemployment. If you think otherwise, go to Somalia or Kenya for comparison :-). The countries are beautiful, but it is easy to meet a guy with a machete on the way home.

Therefore, the foreground for us, however, is the desire to find happiness.

But there is a problem.

We often fail predicting what will make us happy

This problem has two roots.

The first is in neurophysiology. We do not predict well what emotions will be experienced in the future, because the brain is subject to systematic mistakes in perception and planning.

At this point, the Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman in “Thinking, Fast and Slow”, and Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert in “Stumbling on happiness” spoke exhaustively.

The second root is in the education system; which does not consider the issue of happiness worthy of discussion at school and university.

As a result, it is easy for us to think of happiness as an experience (“I feel happy”), but it is difficult as a skill (“I know what to do to feel happy”).

Happiness is too abstract as a category to catch on for something. Let’s make it up.

Two models of happiness

In 2010, in the book “Delivering Happiness”, Tony Hsieh told how he built the corporate culture of Zappos around the idea of ​​happiness. At the same time, he shared the results of research on this topic.

In particular, Tony talked about two models that help to think about happiness in an applied manner. We will get acquainted with them now.

Model One

There are three sources of happiness: pleasure, passion and purpose. They differ in duration effect.

Pleasure

Studies show that of the three types of happiness, this is the fastest. As soon as the stimulation stops, the level of happiness immediately falls.

Imagine that you always wanted to buy a yacht; the peak of joy will come at the time of its purchase, and then the intensity of emotions will only decrease. In a month, you will find out how much maintenance is worth, and in two months neighbours will buy a more authentic yacht, etc.

Passion

It is also known as the “Flow”. A sure sign of the flow is the feeling that time flies by unnoticed. After watching yourself you will definitely find flow actions.

This is a more stable basis for happiness than pleasure, because hobbies can be made part of work and hobbies. Each time you do something that fascinates you, you experience intense emotions.

There is only one nuance: you must constantly look for more difficult tasks, otherwise boredom will overcome the joy of doing what you love.

Purpose

This is the most stable basis for happiness: by doing what is filled with meaning, you feel happy. Even if, sometimes you have to do things that you do not really like.

Certainly, the search for your purpose is a tough nut. But from a practical point of view, it is enough to ask yourself regularly: how much meaning you feel in what you are doing now, and where else it can be found. This is an iterative process that helps to “grope” one’s own.

Many people all their lives chase happiness like “pleasure”, all the while postponing the search for the highest purpose.

However, the research supports a different strategy:

First, find out what your highest purpose is, and rush to it (this lays the foundation of happiness), then add a layer of pleasure and passion.

Second model

Happiness consists of four sensations: Perceived Control, Perceived Progress, Connectedness and Vision|Meaning (being part of something bigger than yourself).

The sense of control implies the ability to make choices: set goals, manage time, payment, etc.

The feeling of progress arises when you become better in an important task for you; carry out tasks corresponding to the level of skill.

Connectedness — the quality of relationships with loved ones, friends and colleagues. The stronger and more positive the connection, the happier you feel.

Vision | Meaning is to serve something more significant than yourself.

Your daily decisions affect all 4 dimensions, increasing or decreasing the amount of happiness in life. By knowing this secret, you can consciously take actions.

While using these models, it is not difficult to create an action plan for yourself: to understand what aspects are “sagging”, and figure out how to strengthen them.

Our programme “Rediscover yourself” helps with this task: with a series of exercises, you will get to know your features, and find practical steps to improve the quality of your life. Join now!