Dear Joe,
A letter to my younger and future self
Dear Joe,
Breathe.
Okay, now that I got that out of the way, let me just say how proud I am of you. You are strong, dedicated, hard working, and a version of me that I am proud of.
I know you’re going through it. I know you are drained. It will get better. It does get better. It has gotten better.
You are so many people in one. You are a 50 year old in a child's body. Let me talk to each of you one by one.
11 Year Old Joe (6th Grade): I know you are nervous. It’s middle school. You have a locker, you have to change classes. You are nervous about being bullied You are nervous about someone beating you up. Just stop. Breathe. Take a step back and relax. It is going to be okay.
12 Year Old Joe (7th Grade): I’m sorry it is tough. I am sorry about those kids and I am sorry about the bullying. You are better than them. Little do you know now, but that kid who bullies you every single day and calls you gay is going to get arrested one day. You are so much better than him.
13 Year Old Joe (8th Grade): Hang in there. Stay you. Do NOT change. Do not let them tell you that you are not enough. Do not let them tell you that you are too weak. You are strong, you are brave, and you are you.
14 Year Old Joe (9th Grade): You did it. You finally told someone. You finally came out to someone. You said the words. We did it.
15 Year Old Joe (10th Grade): Wow. Just wow. Not only did you come out to your family, you came out to the world. That isn’t a little thing. You are amazing.
16 Year Old Joe (11th Grade): This year sucks. I won’t sugar coat it. You will get to a place darker then ever before. You will get to a place harder than ever before. You are enough. You are worth it. You are perfect the way you are. Hang in there.
17 Year Old Joe (12th Grade): We made it. We officially are out of high school and that small town. AND, you went farther than you could have ever imagined for college! Look at you go.
18 Year Old Joe (Freshman Year): You got involved, you came out all over again to new people, you made Dean’s List, and you made me proud.
19 Year Old Joe (Sophomore Year): This year is going to be good, but you are going to be busy. You will deal with more than you ever imagined. You will conquer more than you ever imagined. Just be patient.
20 year old Joe is me right now. We are just a month and a half away from turning 21. We made it. To 11th grade me, I know we thought we would never make it here, but we did it.
Now to future me, step back. Be you. Don’t change. However, remember that it is okay to step back. It is okay to say no. It is okay to put yourself first. That isn’t selfish, that is healthy.
You may be wondering, why would I write this to you online? Why would I put this out in the public? We never would talk about this in the past. Because it is okay to be honest. It is okay to struggle. It is okay to not be okay.
I’m Proud of You,
Joe
