The nonsense I’m telling myself in April
My NaPoWriMo Diary: Prompt Ten
Sorry not sorry
Regrets? I’ve had a few … well life is full of mistakes, it’s how we learn. Do I hide my head and hope nobody noticed? Sometimes. Do I say a heartfelt “Sorry, mate” and move on? Other times. Do I think to myself “but what about the time you did that much worse thing to me and never once apologised…” and let it growl and writhe and fester inside myself for years afterwards? It has been known…
I’m sure there are things I still haven’t said sorry for, and other things I’ve not forgiven yet. But in my conscious life I try to apologise and move on, and to forgive whether or not an apology is offered. As much for my own sake as anything else, as I don’t like to be stuck in guilt or rage. Besides, sometimes the person I most need to say sorry to or to forgive is myself.
There are so many ways to be sorry, and things to be sorry for, it can be overwhelming. Although “sorry” and “sorrow” don’t have the same root, they are often linked in our head and hearts. We are “sorry for your loss”, we are “sorry for your sorrow”. At times we use it as a marker, an acknowledgement of something, a place of departure from which we might move forward. Other times, it’s as though we’re saying “I’m sorry, I’m just as helpless in the face of this…
