How Well Do You Know The Lyrics To Vanessa Carlton’s “A Thousand Miles?”
1. “Making my way downtown, walking fast, ________”
a. When suddenly I trip over a fat pigeon like an idiot
b. Thinking about whether or not mice can feel envy
c. George W. Bush is also making his way downtown, and also walking fast but not as fast as I am
d. I’m Jamie Ding
2. “If I could fall into the sky, _________”
a. I’d freakin’ do that so fast man, you don’t even know
b. I wonder what it would be like up there. Probably cold, but maybe there would be some cool comets or a bee or something.
c. Maybe Ariana Grande would be there too
d. I would fall, and I’d probably die
3. “It’s always times like these when I think of you,__________/Cause everything’s so wrong and I don’t belong, __________.”
a. And how you’re so good at AP Chemistry; I probably shouldn’t have taken AP Chemistry
b. My dear nephew Razzmatazz; Inside this piano, can you please get me out of this piano
c. On the anniversary of the day we wrote limericks about Nelson Mandela all over the U.S. Capitol building; I should probably stop trying to break into the visitors’ locker room of the Wells Fargo Arena
d. What’s your name again?; Hold on, you aren’t Brian…what the shit is going on?
4. “And I, I,__________/I, I,__________.”
a. Want to wish you a Merry Christmas; Am not going to though, cause it’s April and I’m Jewish and you’re Zoroastrian
b. Wanna be with you; Am Mandy Moore
c. Found a cool pig under the stairs at FAO Schwarz; Am going to marry this pig, would you like to be my maid of honor?
d. Ran over George W. Bush with my Bird scooter, then did a wheelie, then turned around and ran over him again; Feel no guilt about this whatsoever
5. “Staring blankly ahead, _________”
a. Wishing I had remembered to cancel my trial subscription to Amazon Prime because now it’s like 12 dollars a month and all I ever order is small bottles of hand cream to feed to my owl Ulysses
b. Trying to remember if I turned off the bathroom light this morning before I left for Zumba class
c. I see a vision in the distance. It’s George W. Bush! He’s nude riding a panda! Get me out of this nightmare!
d. (awkward silence)
6. “And I still need__________/And I still miss__________”
a. To go to the DMV and inform them that I have grown a foot and a half and my driver’s license should say that I am six foot ten instead of five foot four; Being able to drive a Go-Kart underneath an array of ceiling fans without worrying about decapitation
b. Goat’s blood for my potion; my mother, who lives in Ashtabula, Ohio
c. Stanley; Stanley
d. Old boxes full of baby powder; Dat ass
7. “Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles, __________.”
a. And I would walk a thousand more, just to be the man who walked two thousand miles so that he would be twice as good as the chump who only walked one thousand miles
b. I’m not sure why I would — it’s an insane idea — but you and I both know I’d do it.
c. Just to get away from George W. Bush and his terrible puppet show about The War Of The Three Kingdoms.
d. As long as it meant I got to wear my sweet light-up shoes from the mall.
Answers:
1. “Making my way downtown, walking fast, ________”
b. Thinking about whether or not mice can feel envy
As the song begins, Vanessa Carlton is thinking about how much better her life is than those of mice and wondering if the mice understand this.
2. “If I could fall into the sky, _________”
c. Maybe Ariana Grande would be there too
Vanessa isn’t sure about it, but she thinks it is at least possible that Ariana Grande lives in the sky.
3. “It’s always times like these when I think of you,__________/Cause everything’s so wrong and I don’t belong, __________.”
c. On the anniversary of the day we wrote limericks about Nelson Mandela all over the U.S. Capitol building; I should probably stop trying to break into the visitors’ locker room of the Wells Fargo Arena
The only being Vanessa Carlton loves more than Nelson Mandela is Gritty.
4. “And I, I,__________/I, I,__________.”
d. Ran over George W. Bush with my Bird scooter, then did a wheelie, then turned around and ran over him again; Feel no guilt about this whatsoever
Vanessa Carlton feels no remorse for scooter-related attacks on George W. Bush. And really, why should she?
5. “Staring blankly ahead, _________”
a. Wishing I had remembered to cancel my trial subscription to Amazon Prime because now it’s like 12 dollars a month and all I ever order is small bottles of hand cream to feed to my owl Ulysses
Trial subscriptions, man; that’s how they get ya.
6. “And I still need__________/And I still miss__________”
c. Stanley; Stanley
Vanessa Carlton really misses Stanley.
7. “Cause you know I’d walk a thousand miles, __________.”
c. Just to get away from George W. Bush and his terrible puppet show about The War Of The Three Kingdoms.
George W. Bush’s awful puppeteering take on Chinese history turns out to have been the impetus for Carlton’s long walk all along.
How well did you know the lyrics to A Thousand Miles? If you messed up, put on a Vanessa Carlton album and try again!
How well did you know the lyrics to With Arms Wide Open? If you messed up, brush up on your Creed and try again!
