Having compassion is a privilege
<Taking several deep breaths> Talk about drop mic moments. I read this online recently and CAN’T GET IT OUT OF MY MIND. It’s tattooed onto my conscious now and I’ll be better for it. It’s already helped me better frame my at-times conflicting thoughts around empathy and compassion.
Over the past few years, as my relationship grids have expanded, there are times I feel depleted, obliterated, extinguished. At those very moments I also tend to feel elated, euphoric and blissful. My nature is to embrace first. Physically and emotionally. I tend to approach situations and people with a smile and kind words. Most of the time I get the same or more in return (though that’s *not* my motivation). From time to time, I’m blindsided with negativity or worse…apathy. I tend to think of myself as a tough MF, but I know that’s too simple of a way to define myself. I am vulnerable. I am someone who loves to help others empower themselves. Some may even label me a people pleaser. Whatever you choose to call it, I can embrace the positive substance behind it, if not necessarily the label.
Unlike oil, empathy and compassion are renewable resources — but YOU are the only person that can build up your reserves again. When I feel like I can’t possibly love anymore…can’t feel anymore…can’t listen anymore…I dig deep and start to build my reserves up brick by brick.
I understand that the universe doesn’t owe me a damn thing. If I view what I give others through my heart and soul similar to numbers in a ledger, I’m playing a zero-sum game. I don’t want to play games. I want to be someone that my son can be proud of one day. Someone who feels deeply — the good, bad and everything in between.
To care, to have compassion, to feel…these are not burdens, though you may feel like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders sometimes. And the world has daggers on it. Long, really sharp daggers.
The ability to give a shit about people is a privilege.
It’s important that I appreciate this privilege and act on it. This doesn’t mean I act on it immediately or always. It doesn’t even mean you have to help someone else. At times, my empathy levels for certain situations are low and I’m reluctant to give more of myself. Instead of putting pressure on myself to give more to someone else, I strive to give back to myself so I can grow strong. I can’t do a damn thing for anyone else on limited fuel. The universe is waiting.
