Gays Fight To Strike Down Gay Marriage

“Never mind we don’t want marriage, you can have it back.

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH — One year after the supreme court struck down DOMA leaders from the LGBT community have filed a case to reinstate the bill, sources confirm this Saturday. “We didn’t realize what we were getting ourselves into,” said Princess Fantastica, the leader of the organization, “I feel like we were baited into a trap.” In a surprising turn of events, later that same day the Mormon church released an official statement detailing their support for marriage equality. “Since the legalization of gay marriage we have seen a decline in membership which has actually been great for our annual budget. We won’t stop until every state, every city, every person in every country has the right to a queer marriage!” said Thomas S. Monson, current prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. At press time, hundreds of homosexuals gathered outside of the White House in protest against gay rights.

Update: Monson came out of the closet late Sunday night, re-joining the protests against marriage equality. The Mormon church’s budget has never been better.

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