Report: US Geological Society Predicts Immigrant-Related Natural Disaster

TUCSON, ARIZON — Fox news reporting a new study by the U.S. geological society suggests that—for all 50 states—there is a reasonable chance of experiencing a torrential down pour of immigration in the coming days.

The 7 states that show the most significant hazard levels are New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, South Central LA, Cuba, the San Diego Zoo and Washington D.C.

Oscar Zoroaster, the professor of Immigration Patterns at Emerald City College told Fox News the study helps state and local officials plan and protest areas at risk.

“After a quick search on Google maps my research has concluded that there are certainly some changes of apocalyptic proportion probably about to occur in the near or distant future,” said Zoroaster.

Even though immigration is less frequent in the central and eastern U.S., they can still happen and cause serious damage. Zoroaster points to a July 2014 immigration currant that registered a 7.4 magnitude on the Reich-ter scale and swept across Arizona, jolting much of the southern boarder. No deaths were reported but there was widespread damage to the job market, american image and humanity as a whole.

At a televised Immigration Relief benefit earlier this week, rock guitarist and Republican superstar Ted Nuget was quoted for saying “Barak Obama does not care about white people.”

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