Is Writing Erotica to Your Husband Considered Porn?
Or is it perfectly acceptable foreplay?
My husband and I met over twenty years ago — he in Australia, myself in Washington state. We met online by playing Dungeons & Dragons by email, a good old-fashioned PBeM. We then started conversing with each other privately, which turned into some engaging erotic role-play. This then ignited lust between the two of us. Before too long, we were in love.
When we finally got together in person, we didn’t do too much erotic messaging. We had each other. The love was there, and the sex was great.
Many years have passed and now we have cell phones with easy texting capabilities. And, we decided it was time to reintroduce erotic messaging into our relationship.
It’s amazing how turned on we can get by reading each other’s words. And then our typed replies. I can become so ready for him, without even being physically touched.
Time to stop it forever?
We found religion and joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. God and Jesus Christ have become so important to us. I don’t regret taking that step, but I do regret not knowing if our sexting is considered porn by the church. Is it wrong to send erotic emails to each other? Especially since they can get down right dirty.
I had my husband proofread this article. I wanted his ok before I shared it. I asked if he remembered how we got the idea it was bad to sext. Nope, neither of us knew why we had started to worry. We just did.
Can we get off the seesaw already?
We still go back and forth on the subject. We both want to write to each other, but worry it’s porn. Then, we have that talk again.
One time I convinced him it was okay, we’re married after all. So we’d have fun for a little while, resulting in some mind-blowing orgasms.
Then the guilt would set in. Maybe our writing was too detailed. Maybe it’s too naughty. Maybe it really was porn.
So, my husband came up with an idea. Keep it vanilla.
We tried it, it didn’t stay that way for long. Even though, we were totally enjoying ourselves, once again, the worry returned. What if our writings were too dark?
So, I want to know when does erotica cross the line over into porn?
Right or Wrong?
What is right and wrong? If you’re doing the deed in a way that pleases both partners, what’s wrong with that? I believe if you’re performing oral sex because you have to, because your partner is making you, knowing you don’t like it, then that crosses the line. It constitutes a sin. Same thing goes with anal sex or bondage.
Why do we allow what others think invade the sacred space of our sex life? Isn’t it a manifestation of our love for each other? Should it matter what others think? What others say is right or wrong?
Why should we base one part of our sex life, or a single part of our foreplay, on the opinions of others? Why do we accept what would ultimately be their judgements on what is a blessed gift given to us by God?
An idea worth considering.
What’s coming to my mind right now, as I write this article, is that maybe it’s the intent. Maybe we should base our decisions on the intent of our action. What’s the intent of our naughty messages to each other. It is to turn each other on for amazing orgasmic sex!
Just like oral sex is considered bad by some people and anal sex is often associated with taboos, perhaps sexting is simply another activity that one must come to terms with on their own.
If both sides want it, enjoy it, and no one is getting hurt, then what’s the problem?
I say, enjoy yourself. Make sure your partner is enjoying themselves. And don’t worry about what others may think. Maybe don’t even worry about what the leaders of your church may say is right or wrong.
Simply enjoy each other. Love each other. That’s what my husband and I have decided to do.
