I’m 18 and I’m Not Who You Think I Am
Growing up homeschooled.
My life has been jam-packed with people who assume I’m a socially awkward, religious, sheltered genius. I wouldn’t label myself as any of the above, nor would anyone who knows me. I can’t count how many people have been confused upon meeting me and then hearing I was homeschooled.
“But you’re so social.”
Their questions are hard for me to answer without going into a long-winded explanation. I don’t want to rant in strangers’ faces, so I try to stifle that. Instead, I’ve decided to rant to strangers on the internet.
“How do you make friends?”
I’m not offended when people ask me questions like this, but I do want to create a new perspective—a real one—of homeschooling.
I briefly went to high school. In terms of socialization, there are definitely families who have sheltered their kids through homeschooling. In my opinion, however, pre-college schooling (and college sometimes) also creates a sheltered view of the world. The socialization kids get in school feels incredibly fake. There’s a weird hierarchy: Kids in grades above you are cool, and the kids below you are lame. These minor age discrepancies matter so much in school when they shouldn’t matter at all.
There’s also a discomfort with adults, who are seen merely as authority figures. I think homeschooling offers the opportunity to create a healthy, natural social life. I had more time on my hands, and I wasn’t restricted to having friends of one age or from one school. The key to homeschooling and being social is to put yourself out there, which my parents did for my siblings and me growing up, and I continue to do so as I become older and more independent. You make friends by going out into the world and meeting people. Imagine that!
I was able to gain life experience, as opposed to school experience. (When you turn 18, you are thrown out on your ass with huge expectations and almost no prior independence.)
I’m not saying homeschooling is for everyone. I think school can be beneficial for some. Homeschooling is driven more by independent motivation than a set curriculum.
My parents homeschooled my brothers and me not because of religious beliefs or a desire to shelter us, but because they believed they could do better. They also made it clear that we could go to school if we wanted. I tried attending during my freshman year of high school because I wanted to have the experience and see how I liked it. I dropped out after one semester. (Yes, technically I am a high school dropout.) I did fine academically and socially, but it felt pointless, a waste of my time.
Most of what I was learning wouldn’t apply later in my life. I’d usually just cram knowledge I didn’t care about for tests and then forget it 10 minutes afterward.
It’s a game. Even English, my favorite subject, was completely butchered, not because I had a bad teacher but because of how the curriculum is structured.
“Read this short book over a long period of time and take a quiz after each chapter.”
There is no right or wrong in literature or any form of art. It’s what you, the reader or viewer, take from it. It’s one thing to write essays about books and discuss them, but reading chapters with quizzes in mind means you’re not taking in the book—you’re taking in what you need to remember for a quiz. It’s a game of who can play the system, and we can, but should we?
I decided I preferred studying my interests independently rather than be subjected to the mandatory bullshit that public school throws at you. I don’t want to be defined by standardized test scores based on subjects that have nothing to do with who I am. Everyone is different, and one set-in-stone education method and social environment will not suit us all.
This post, of course, is based on my own experiences as a homeschooler. I am by no means trying to generalize homeschooling, which is different for every family. But the stereotypes surrounding homeschoolers have created an inaccurate image of me.
I’ve done a lot of freelance portraiture and design, and lately I’ve become interested in social media management. I’ve been writing ever since I learned to do so but have shied away from trying to publish until now. What I’m mostly doing is just trying to figure it all out, save money for travel and college, and generally experience new things and gain more direction in terms of what I want to do with my life. Very 18-year-old stuff.
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