I’ve been to a few Japanese weddings, and boy, do I have stories!
Pre-wedding stuff: Before the big day, there’s this thing called “yuino.” It’s like an engagement party, but way more formal. Families swap gifts, and it’s all symbolic. My buddy Kenji got a dried fish as a gift. No joke! It means good luck or something.
What they wear: Brides usually rock a white kimono called “shiromuku.” It’s gorgeous but looks tricky to walk in. Some brides change into a colorful kimono later. Grooms either wear a traditional outfit or just go for a tux.
Ceremony: Here’s where it gets interesting. You’ve got options:
- Shinto style: Super traditional. Happens in a shrine with just family around.
- Buddhist: Less common, but still a thing.
- Christian-style: Yep, even if they’re not Christian. It’s trendy.
I went to a Shinto ceremony once. There’s the sake-drinking ritual called “san-san-kudo.” The couple takes turns sipping sake. It’s supposed to bind them together.
Party (Reception): This is where the fun really starts! It’s called “hiroen.” Everyone shows up for this part. There’s usually:
- Speeches (some are pretty funny)
- Cake cutting
- Candle lighting
- Lots of food and drinks!
Oh, and people break open a sake barrel with wooden hammers. It’s called “kagami-biraki.” I got to do it once. Felt like a samurai!
Modern twists: Japanese folks are getting creative these days. Some have:
- After-parties (nijikai) just for friends
- Destination weddings (Hawaii is big)
- Personal touches like favorite songs or themes
Money talk: Weddings here aren’t cheap. On average, they cost about 3.5 million yen. That’s like $30,000! And if you’re a guest, you’re expected to bring cash:
- Average gift: The typical amount for guests is around 30,000 yen (approximately $275). This is considered a standard contribution for friends or acquaintances.
- Couples: If you are attending as a couple, the expected amount increases to about 50,000 yen (approximately $460).
- Close relationships: For close friends or family members, the amount can range from 30,000 yen to 100,000 yen (approximately $275 to $920), depending on your relationship with the couple.
- Immediate family: Immediate family members are expected to give more than 100,000 yen.
Guest tips: If you ever get invited, remember:
- Be on time (seriously, they’re sticklers for this)
- Bring new, crisp bills for your cash gift
- Don’t wear white (that’s for the bride) or black (that’s for funerals)
- Stick around till the end
Japanese weddings are a perfect mix of old and new, serious and fun. Every time I go to one, I learn something new about Japanese culture. And hey, the food’s always amazing! It’s all about love, tradition, and yes, quite a bit of sake. Kanpai! (That’s “cheers” in Japanese, by the way!)
