Trust in Your Ability to Make Good Decisions and Take Charge of Your Life
The power of decisiveness.
“The way to develop decisiveness is to start where you are, with the very next question you face.”
— Napoleon Hill
I am at a stage in my life where I think trusting myself is the best thing to do.
Occasionally, I may have moments of doubt, but they are becoming less and less.
I’ve learned that seeking advice from others too often can delay the decision-making process.
Traveling solo has strengthened my ability to make quick decisions.
Learning to make good decisions has become a necessity for me.
How did I learn this and how can it help you?
Making everyday decisions
It comes down to trusting yourself. When I look back on the good decisions I’ve made in the past, it gives me the confidence to make more.
Most decisions are not life-threatening, although they may alter your life circumstances.
The fact is, decisions are reversible. Most things can be undone.
So with daily decisions, I make them quick. I don’t waste time on them. Just make a decision and do what needs to be done.
Indecision shows a lack of self-confidence and belief in ourselves.
I know some people who can’t even decide what to do on their day off.
It becomes a huge obstacle for them. For example, they would find it hard to decide if they should go to the beach or go shopping.
It really doesn't matter once you chose one of them and stick with it.
When you make your decision, do not go back on it.
In the example above, if you decide to go shopping but when you’re shopping you notice the sun is shining, don’t beat yourself up for not going to the beach.
Don’t say, “I should have gone to the beach!” Instead, it would be better to just enjoy the shopping and forget about the beach. The beach can be for another day.
Big decisions
With the bigger decisions, it does take longer as there are more things to consider.
For instance, I am in Porto, a city in Northern Portugal and I was trying to decide if I should move to Lisbon or not, the capital of Portugal.
I had a few things to consider. Porto is a beautiful city and I like it here. I could eventually get work and I’m beginning to get to know more people.
So I decided to go to my friend, Ria, and rather than ask for advice, I shared my thoughts with her to see if she had anything to add.
I didn’t put my decision into her hands. I asked her if I could air my thoughts, and ask her some questions as she has lived in Porto for over twenty years and also knows Lisbon.
She is a church leader and we are advised, as Christians, to seek counsel when we face important decisions.
I like the word counsel because it’s more about being heard than receiving advice.
Another person can identify blind spots that we may have missed.
After lunch, Ria said, “do you have any more questions?” I said, “No, thank you, I’m okay now.”
I had not made my decision at that point, but I trusted that it would come.
She and her husband Carlos (the pastor of Riverside Church) said they would pray for me and so I had peace that my decision would come.
I was grateful to both of them for helping me to make my decision.
A week or two later, after I thought about my situation and Covid, I felt sure that going to Lisbon would be the right decision for me.
I had peace about it and so I am going and that’s it.
Final thoughts
Learn to make decisions without involving too many people. I usually tell people what I’m doing after I make the decision.
There’s no need to go around asking everyone because they don’t know the details of your life, and who knows where they are coming from anyway?
If there is someone mature who you trust, go to them with the bigger decisions, but learn to make the smaller ones yourself. It will make you feel more confident.
Even if it doesn’t work out perfectly, you can always change things later.
“There are two primary choices in life, to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”
— Denis Waitley
Our life is built on a series of choices. So, it’s good to get in the habit of making decisions.
Decisions bring about actions, so if we are not good at making decisions, we will not be able to change things in our lives.
This is how people get stuck.
Wilfred A Peterson put it nicely, “Until a decision is made, nothing happens.”
