‘Is my kid gifted?’: Four common (but misunderstood) traits of highly advanced learners
And how to support their unique needs at home and in the classroom
By Katy Bowman
Straight A’s. Off-the-charts test scores. One hand in the air, always ready to answer a question. These are some of the more obvious and widely accepted signs of high academic ability in children. But beneath the surface are some more nuanced characteristics that often go unrecognized, unsupported, and misunderstood.
It’s helpful to be aware of some common challenges gifted students face — and strengths that can turn into challenges when they’re not properly nurtured. It’s also important for parents and teachers of advanced students to communicate and work together to support their unique needs at home and in the classroom.
We talked to two gifted education experts, Dr. Tracy Inman, parent representative on the board of directors for the National Association for Gifted Children (NAGC), and Dr. Michelle Muratori, assistant director of student support services at the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth (CTY), about four traits that many gifted kids share — and some ways to help them thrive.
Keep in mind that while some combination of these traits is common in academically advanced children — it certainly does not characterize them all. As Inman notes, “Gifted children are children first, and each is unique.”
1. The ability to process information quickly
Imagine being able to comprehend complex concepts at the snap of a finger! Sounds like a superpower, right? Unfortunately for many advanced learners, it can mean sitting idly for long stretches of time while classmates catch up.
“In school, there’s a lot of drill and repetition, so gifted kids are going to be spinning their wheels,” Inman said.
This, paired with the high energy levels common in gifted kids, could cause them to become disruptive in class — or to simply tune out. “Disengaging can be a real problem, and it’s not always easy to turn the switch back on, so ideally we should address it early,” Muratori said.
Matching students with appropriate levels of academic challenge is key to helping them stay engaged, develop a growth mindset, and learn important study skills.
“We need exercise to keep our bodies healthy — well, we also need novelty and challenge to keep our brains active,” Inman said.
Teachers and parents can help by providing games, puzzles, or accelerated coursework for kids to do once they’ve shown competency in a lesson. Some may be best served by spending part of their day in advanced, above-grade-level classes with access to more challenging work. Kids can also “up their game” outside of class by entering contests, joining clubs, or enrolling in accelerated online or summer courses through programs like CTY where they can meet and learn with other highly advanced students.
2. Perfectionism
Many gifted children are used to being the best in the class without having to struggle. If they’ve spent years being chronically underchallenged, it can be a shock when a situation like college or a new job requires some intellectual effort. They may also develop an aversion to risk out of fear of being wrong or showing vulnerability.
“It can become an existential thing — ‘I’m smart, I’m supposed to know this already, or, ‘I’m smart, I’m not supposed to ask questions; people are supposed to ask me questions,’” Inman said.
Parents and teachers can help by modeling and normalizing mistakes. Talking about a recent mistake you made at work, for example, and asking, “What would you have done?” can help them talk through problems, and understand how mistakes help us learn and grow, Inman said.
“Mistakes are important, and we aren’t going to make them unless we go out of our comfort zone and take a risk,” she said.
Encouraging a novel challenge like a cooking class, art club, or a new sport can help bright kids build risk tolerance, resilience, empathy, and comfort with not being the smartest or best in the room.
Encouraging them to try a spelling or geography bee, math challenge, or other contest can also help kids understand that it’s ok to not be the best.
“Competition is a wonderful way to teach kids about failure from an early age,” Inman said. “Not everyone is going to win, but you keep on trying.”
3. Sensitivity and overexcitability
Bright kids tend to be sensitive — with strong reactions to their own feelings and environment, and a deep empathy for others.
“The positive piece of having this strong empathy is that it makes their lives so much richer,” Inman said. But fluctuating emotions can sometimes be hard for bright kids to manage. “If they love something, they’re going to be jumping up and down, or if they’re sad, they’re going to be melted into a puddle.”
A heightened sensitivity to physical environment is also common in gifted children: “they might have a label in their shirt and can’t talk to you till the label is out,” Inman said. “Or there’s too many people around and they can’t handle it. Or they hear the buzzing of the florescent lights and can’t hear what you’re trying to teach because that light is buzzing — when others might not even hear it.’”
“These kids are experiencing the world with greater intensity,” said Muratori, which can lead to a heightened sense of morality and justice about everything from family matters to world events.
Parents and school officials can help kids learn self-regulation techniques like self-talk, mindfulness, and deep breathing, to ground them while managing strong emotions, Muratori said. Kids who are feeling powerless about a social issue or world event may find solace while planning a project to help others around the world, or in their school or community.
In some cases, parents may find it helpful to speak with a psychologist who specializes in gifted children. Here are more tips for helping kids work through tough topics and big emotions.
4. Asynchronous development
Gifted children often have varied development across the emotional, cognitive, physical, and social aspects of their growth.
“Most 6-year-olds are going to be at an even keel across these — they’re going to act like a 6-year-old, think like a 6-year-old, and so on,” Inman said. Academically gifted kids often have highly developed cognitive skills, while other parts of their growth may be average or below average.
Often times they want to hang out with adults, Inman added. “They talk like adults, think like adults, and ask questions like adults. At Thanksgiving, these are the kids who are hanging out at the adults’ table.”
Matching them with content, information, and responsibilities that are appropriate for their maturity level can be tricky.
“We tend to treat them like little adults, but they’re kids — kids who can think at high levels. We have to be careful as parents to not let them be in charge of too much. Maybe put them in charge of the homework schedule.”
It can be a game-changer when kids with high cognitive abilities can find communities of peers who think like them and share their (often highly specific) interests. Summer academic camps, interactive online courses, Super Saturday courses at a local university, a local chess or D&D club near you may be the perfect way for them to meet intellectual peers and make friends. In school, educators can introduce advanced kids who share similar interests and provide some space to explore them together.
Ultimately, Muratori said, social connection among advanced learners is extremely important in to their social development, well-being, and happiness.
“When these kids don’t have access to peers who appreciate their quirky sense of humor or share their interests, it’s likely to amplify their feelings of being ‘different’ and perhaps of being excluded. We all need to be valued for who we are, and advanced learners are no exception — they flourish when they can trust that they will find acceptance among their peer group for being their authentic selves.”
