Strong People Are Only People too
You’re human. It’s okay to open up.
I’m writing this for those of us who are so strong, so often that sometimes it feels like we don’t have a right to be weak.
Personally, I can’t be vulnerable around too many people – really just a handful, save my mom & kid brother have ever caught me at lowest points. I still regret most of those times.
Don’t get me wrong, It’s cool to be “the strong one”. You’re confident, you’re sure of who you are most of the time. You’re upbeat & it attracts people to you.
“You’re so easy to talk to” they say, “I love your vibe”
And you get so used to it to the point where you’re scared to drop the ball even when you need to rest for a bit.
I wish I could always be realistic and brave and strong, but I realise now that I can’t be strong all the time because it’s simply not realistic. So now I try to remind myself that it’s okay to just be a human being. No need to get frustrated at my raw feelings and my doing real human things like feeling lost or insecure sometimes. The key is in the level of self-awareness and how we translate these feelings - & perhaps that’s where the BIG difference has always truly been.
In general though, everyone seems to expect some sort of unusual strength from people like us without realising that it can be both overwhelming & counterproductive.
I’m speaking for those of us who know how hard it is to build intimacy when your own struggles feel like a burden to even yourself. How do you start? Irony is you still find a way to take care of other people’s problems.
So many unaddressed fears can make you internalise a lot of things. But on the surface, what do you have to be scared of? Everybody thinks you have it figured out.
So Relationships become draining because you’re terrified to be vulnerable & you can’t sustain that momentum for too long. It ends up feeling like: if I can’t trust you to be here when I’m weak then what’s the point? This facade of eternal strength won’t last. You’re a human being. Going through the same shit. You’re tired too.
If this is you, stop it beloved. Take a break. Stop bottling everything up. Most important, Trust that your friends & loved ones care about you & that you can share your concerns/problems with them. If they minimise your problems, then that says more about them than it does you. Or maybe you need a new choice of confidantes.
Trust me, I’m still trying to unlearn too. It’s hard but that’s okay. The best way is to work on the root fears you have. In the end, What are you so scared of?Disappointment? Disappointing others? Disappointing yourself? Guess what? It’s not so bad. You’re human, You’ll live and learn.
