Why I Chose Become a Remote Software Engineer With a Young Family At Home
I was head down, deep in the code, fixing this nasty bug when I heard a faint yell coming from the top of the stairs. Inaudible at first, I removed my noise canceling headphones and listened closely. It hit me like a tidal wave, “DAAAAAAD! We have a poo-poo emergency!”. My 3 year old daughter acted as the messenger in instances like this where my wife was too occupied with my 1 year old son to call for me. This balance of peace and chaos was just one example of life, working from home as a software engineer and raising 2 young children with my beautiful wife.
So you’re probably wondering why I would choose to be in such an environment, where things are constantly changing and loud booms and screams from upstairs can be heard every 5 minutes. Well, it was one of the easiest decisions in my life. Much like Dominic Toretto from the Fast and Furious series, I am a family oriented man. Choosing to go remote gave me the opportunity to continue to code and basically hang out with my family whenever I get a break.
When my daughter was born, I was a developer working in a traditional office. I commuted on the train into the city and got home at roughly 6pm everyday. For the first 2 years I missed a lot. I was really only around for her to see me for 2 hours a day, and half of that time I struggled to feed her dinner. Throughout dinner she would hold food her in cheek like a chipmunk.
I needed more, and so did she. So my wife and I sat down and discussed our options. The idea of going remote was very intimidating at first seeing as I’ve spent the last decade working in an office setting. I wasn’t sure if I could be disciplined enough to handle it, nor would I be able to fight off the distractions. After laying out all of our options, we agreed that being home was the best for everyone: my wife, my daughter, and me.
It was during this time that we also decided to fill out our roster and add another to the family. My son was born and now we were a team of four, one short of a starting basketball team. My wife and I were now able to be home all day and raise our kids together. I no longer had to spend endless hours traveling, wasting time staring at people I didn’t know when commuting. I was able to use that time to read a book to my son, help my daughter paint PJ Masks, or take them both for a walk so my wife could have a break.
The Reality of Parenting in Remote Work
I am getting so much face time with my kids and my bond with them grows every day, but it’s also not all play time at home. I have a job to do and I needed to figure out the best way to go about doing that. I knew that the only way this could work is if I had a dedicated office space, with a closed door, where I can focus without being disturbed. Going to the local coffee shop or the library wasn’t an option for me, because that just meant I wasn’t home again and I would be right back to where I was before.
Being remote not only takes discipline but also coordination with your employer (or future employer, if you’re looking for your next gig). I’ve been lucky in finding a place like AdHawk where our culture was built on being remote. My entire team is remote-first, meaning that even the individuals in the office in New York have the same mentality as the ones spread out across the country. We are all on the same page, and this is hugely vital to your success as a remote employee. I highly suggest finding a company similar to mine rather than being the lone remote employee on an in-house team.
When I’m at home working it’s not too different from being in the office as far as scheduling is concerned. I have meetings, I have breaks, I have chit-chat, and I have focused “knock out a few Github cards” time. Oddly enough you actually gain time being out of the office. For example, the meetings end up being much faster because you are instantly in the meeting, they are focused, then boom you’re back to work.
Lastly, being remote opens up a bounty of possibilities for work. I am no longer confined to searching for jobs in Chicago exclusively (where I’m from, Da Bearssss). I can work for a company based in New York (like I currently do) or one based in Europe. It doesn’t matter. Your choices are now unlimited, and let me tell you, that is such a secure feeling for me. I have responsibilities as a parent and primary earner, and I need security. The days of working for a company for 20 years may be behind us, but the blanket that came with the knowledge of knowing that everything will be alright is still there.
So if you are like me, a parent with small kids living at home, and you have been trying to figure out how to continue doing what you love and never miss a moment with your kids, then remote life is the answer. Just be sure to have a plan and you’ll be chasing your kids around the house during your lunch break in no time!
Hi there, I’m Denny and I’m currently a Software Engineer at AdHawk. We are working on a variety of exciting new technologies and applications and are always looking for talented engineers to join our fast-growing team. Take a look at our job board and apply today -> https://www.tryadhawk.com/jobs/
